hidden | ethma

fifty

the air begins to cool and i shiver. ethan hasn't spoken for a while. he looks deep in thought, his brow furrowed. 

it's hard for me to imagine ethan chasing after a girl like violet. she seems like a girl who's too caught up in her own life to stop and fall in love, much like ethan. 

at the same time, anger and a bit of envy bubbles inside me. how could violet be so cold towards ethan, leaving him in the dust while she goes on to los angeles? didn't she know that she had all his love? why didn't she stay for him, and give him the love he deserved? 

he deserves love, i think to myself as i watch him. he deserves it more than anyone, even if he doesn't believe in it. 

"ethan," i say, breaking the silence. 

he looks up. "hmm." 

"i think we should go. it looks like it's going to rain." 

he nods and rises, stretching his limbs as he reaches his full height. i stand next to him, still wary of the fifteen stories below the glass. 

"do you need to hold my hand again?" ethan asks teasingly. 

"no," i retort. the air has changed between us, i can feel it. it's from revealing our secrets, i know it. i feel just a bit more comfortable around ethan knowing that he knows my dark past, and accepts it. 

ethan smirks at me and we begin walking off the glass. i look at my feet, swallowing at the vast height we are above the lobby. 

a split second later, ethan shoves me slightly, saying, "watch your step!" in my ear.

i squeal and grab onto his arm as he laughs. i loop my arm tightly around his, almost leaning on him as he continues to laugh at me. 

i shove him away once we're off the glass. 

"douche," i say, crossing my arms over my chest. 

"aw, em, are you afraid of heights?" 

"no," i snap. "i just don't appreciate it when jersey assholes tell me to watch my step when we're fifteen stories above the ground." 

ethan laughs again. "jersey assholes," he repeats. "that's a new one." 

"yeah, i have a lot of new ones saved from the time i haven't seen you," i tell him as we wait for the elevator. 

"hmm, can't wait to hear them." ethan's eyes smile along with his lips. 

we take the elevator down to the lobby and walk out to ethan's car. i slide into the passenger seat and sigh. i catch my reflection in one of the side mirrors. 

my hair is slightly wavy from the shower i took earlier, and my cheeks are flushed from the cold. my eyes are bright and lively, although i can't figure out why. i think it might be ethan's influence, but i'm not quite sure. 

"see, that wasn't so bad," ethan says, smirking. "you made it out alive." 

i roll my eyes. "i'm never walking out onto the window again."