hidden | ethma

thirty three

my heart climbs to my throat, beating rapidly. ethan clenches his jaw. "of course i know where she is," he snaps. "she's in her apartment." 

alec laughs venomously. "her apartment, you say?" 

ethan parts his lips, his brow furrowed. "where else would she be?" 

an evil smile crosses alec's face. he leans back in his chair, swiveling in it so he's facing my hiding spot directly. 

fear spreads through me like wildfire. how could he know? 

"emma. dear." alec calls. "you do know we have security cameras, don't you?" 

all eyes turn to where alec is looking. my body seems to be paralyzed as my breath hitches in my throat. 

"come now, don't be shy." alec says, bringing his cigarette to his lips to take a leisurely drag.  i shakily rise to my full height, terror ripping through me.

alec smiles deviously and ethan's eyes widen. 

"how are you doing, emma?" alec asks. 

i move my gaze from ethab's to alec's. i can't seem to form words on my tongue. 

"do you see now why she is a threat to us, dolan?" alec says, turning in his chair to look at ethan. "do you now see that she is part of this, that she has been watching and listening behind your back?" 

i flinch at his words and ethan's cheeks flush. 

"do you now see," alec goes on, his voice rising. "that you have endangered the success of this enterprise!" 

i swallow hard.

ethan remains silent, his eyes cast down at that table. 

i want him to say something, anything at all, but he doesn't. 

he rises from his seat slowly. "i'll take care of this," he says blandly to alec. 

"is that a promise?" alec challenges. 

ethan nods faintly. "it's a promise," he says, his voice low. 

"good," alec says. he looks at me again, then back at ethan. "now get out of my sight, both of you." 

ethan turns on his heel and stalks out of the room. 

i remain stationary for a few moments before realizing everyone's eyes are on me. i quickly exit the room and retrace my steps down the hall and out the iron door. 

the cool afternoon air hits me as i emerge from the alley, sweeping the street for ethan. 

i spot him at a crosswalk, eyes cast down, cheeks still flushed. 

i speed walk to catch up to him, falling into step beside him. 

"ethan," i say. "let me-" 

"don't fucking talk to me, emma," ethan snaps as we cross the street. 

"ethan-" 

"no!" ethan stops as we reach the other side of the street, whirling to face me. "you went behind my back and followed me when i specifically told you not to. you are so nosy that you have to know everything about everyone. well, guess what, emma," he snaps. "your game's over. now they know, now they're mad. and it's your fucking fault." he turns and continues to walk. 

i swallow the lump that has begun to rise in my throat. i jog to catch up to his fast pace. "ethan, please-" 

"there is nothing you can say or do to make me less angry with you right now, emma," ethan says through gritted teeth. 

i fall silent, casting my gaze down. 

i try to talk to him multiple times as we walk home, but he brushes me off. i'm confused and on edge and i know the only person to make me feel any comfort about this entire situation is ethan. he doesn't know it, but i do. 

i follow him up to his door where he fumbles for his keys. 

"ethan, please listen," i say, tears beginning to roll down my cheeks. the adrenaline that pumped through me earlier has since evaporated, leaving me worn and tired. 

ethan notices my tears and turns toward me, his dark hazel eyes flashing. "no, em," he says. "you don't get to cry. you don't get to be pitied here, because you brought this on yourself. you knew what you were getting into by following me-" 

"no!" i shout over him. "i didn't know! i didn't know what i was getting into because you don't tell me shit!" 

ethan opens his mouth to retort but i beat him to it. 

"my apartment was ransacked by these people, ethan, and you still refuse to tell me anything. i've been attacked by two of them and apparently i've been constantly monitored! i deserve to know what the hell is going on!" i take a breath, stepping back as i await ethan's reply. 

ethan runs his tongue over his lips as he stares at me. "fine," he snaps. "you want to know what's going on?" 

i nod. 

he pushes open the door to his apartment and gestures for me to follow him inside.