hidden | ethma

sixteen

"see what you've done!" i shout. 

"don't panic," ethan says fairly calmly. 

"don't panic? don't panic? how can i not panic? we're stuck in a pitch black elevator-"

a light suddenly switches on, ethan sits his phone on the ground, the light emitting from the flash lense. the small space is illuminated in dim light. 

ethan takes a seat on the floor, leaning back against the wall. 

"i told you not to press all those buttons," i snap. "i fucking told you." 

ethan rolls his eyes. "will you pipe the fuck down? this has happened before. they'll come for us."

i turn, scanning the buttons for the emergency call button. 

"don't even try," he says. "it's broken." 

"well shouldn't they fix it?" i ask, my voice shrill. 

"they should, but all the maintenance people here are dipshits."

i sigh and run a hand through my hair. "well, how long are we going to be here? we have to drop off that file." 

ethan stares at me for a moment before bursting into laughter. "you're stuck in an small, compact elevator with me, someone you clearly despise, and you're worried about dropping off the file?"

i crack a smile. he has a point.  "i guess you're right," i sigh. i slowly take a seat by ethan, near the light. "and for the record, i don't despise you." 

this causes ethan to laugh more. "that's a real joke," he snorts. 

"i don't," i protest. "you're just an asshole." 

"yeah, i get that a lot." 

"well, you could be nicer to people." 

"and where would that get me?" 

"i don't know, friends? a girlfriend?" 

"how do you know i don't have a girlfriend?" he raises an eyebrow. 

"i... sorry." i blush. 

he laughs again. "I'm just teasing," he says. "you're so gullible." 

"i'm not gullible," i snap. 

"you know, you really deny things a lot." 

"i deny things that aren't true." 

"right." ethan snorts. 

"oh, look. you're being an asshole again." i fake smile at him and cross my arms over my chest. 

ethan laughs. "again? thought i was always an asshole." 

"true," i say. "you behave in this constant state of asshole continuum." 

he laughs again. "at least we can agree on something." 

i smile, "yeah," i say. 

ethan sighs and takes a pack of mint gum from the pocket of his slacks. my mind flashes to when our lips brushed in his car, the way his breath smelled like spearmint lavert my eyes as he unwraps a piece and pops it into his mouth. 

"want one?" he asks. 

i shake my head. "i only chew watermelon gum."

ethan raises his eyebrows. "why?"

i shrug. "it's the best flavor." 

"that's bullshit." 

"no, it's not." 

"mint lasts the longest." 

"so? watermelon tastes the best." 

"no, it does not." 

"yes, it does." 

"no, it-" 

"enough!" i shout and we laugh.

we really do argue about everything, including the best flavor of gum. i'd rather argue with him about trivial things, though, than insult each other. 

"so tell me, em," ethan says. "what's the real reason you moved to portland?" 

"i'm not answering that," i say. 

"why not? got a dirty little secret?" the tone in his voice makes me shudder. 

"no," i tell him firmly. "no, i do not." my heart pounds loudly in my chest. 

"then tell me." 

"i know you're just mad i moved into that apartment." 

he stiffens. "what do you mean?" 

"you're obviously upset i moved there. who lived there before?" 

ethan's shoulders relax slightly. "uh... i don't remember," he says, his voice having an edge to it. 

"oh." i know he's hiding something. or, more than one thing. with ethan, i could never know. 

"what was your reason for moving to portland?" i ask ethan.

"i was sick of jersey." 

"well, i was sick of california." 

"bullshit." 

"no, it's not," i say. "i think your reason is bullshit." 

"why? you know nothing about me, em." 

"you know nothing about me, either." 

"i have your file right here." he smirks. 

"well..." i'm unable to think of a response. 

"i still think you're a liar," ethan says. 

"takes one to know one." 

"that it does." the corners of ethan's mouth turn down slightly. 

we sit silently for a few moments, the small elevator illuminated by the soft glow of the light from ethan's phone. i look at my lap and notice ethan and i are only sitting a few inches apart. i don't remember sitting so close to him. i can smell the mint of his gum from where i sit, along with the faint scent of cologne. 

"do you really love him?" ethan asks out of the blue.