hidden | ethma

sixty eight

the rest of the week passed by too fast for my liking and it is saturday.

otherwise known as the day of the big party.

i hardly slept last night, and from the way ethan kept tossing and turning next to me, i can tell he didn't either. it's just past seven in the morning now, and i'm wide awake, staring at the ceiling.

so much could go wrong tonight, and so much is on the line. we have gone over the plan these past couple days numerous times, and it feels like things should go right, but my nightmares keep resurfacing is my mind.

ethan lays on his side next to me, his back turned to me. i watch his shoulders rise and fall as he breathes steadily, his heavy sighs the only sound in the room.

breathe, my mind speaks.

everything will go smoothly, and you will be out of this mess by tomorrow.

ethan shifts onto his back, turning his head to look at me.

"you're awake too, hmm?"

i nod, sighing.

"how much sleep did you get?"

"not much."

"same with me."

i turn on my side to face him.

"what do you think of my nightmares?" i ask.

ethan's silent for a minute as he thinks. "i think they worry the hell out of me," he finally says. "but, they're only dreams, part of your subconscious. don't think too much about them."

i nod, resting my head on his shoulder. his arm surrounds my waist and he kisses my forehead.

there's a soft knock at the bedroom door and we both sit up as grayson enters.

"morning, gray," i greet him, smiling.

"morning," he returns kindly. he shifts his weight. "it is to my understanding that you are going to a party tonight."

"yeah, so?" ethan asks.

"are you in danger?"

"no," ethan answers immediately.

"alright, now tell me the truth."

ethan and grayson are so alike in that they don't put up with shit of any kind, and that is apparent as they stare at each other now.

"what does it matter?" ethan finally says.

"i'm a black belt in taekwondo, i might be able to help you out." grayson smirks, flexing a bit.

"what the hell? when did you get a black belt?"

"when i was in korea, actually. thought i should learn some self defence. i told you both i travelled around the world."

i look at ethan, eyebrows raised. "we might need help kicking ass."

ethan glares at me and i smirk.

"fine," he grumbles. "you can come with us."

he grins widely. "great. if you'd ever like to be beaten to a pulp, let me know." he turns and exits the room, the door clicking shut behind him.

i look over at ethan who is shaking his head, a small smile visible on his lips.

"my little brother can probably fight better than me, i have failed at life." he says and i laugh.

"that's true," i say jokingly and he raises an eyebrow at me.

he digs his fingers into my sides and i squeal, pushing him away quickly. my head rests on his shoulder as we both sigh, knowing this is one of the few playful, peaceful moments we will find today.

we finally get out of bed and ethan makes breakfast as i explain to grayson what ethan is involved with quietly. i talk about wolfe and aaron, and he nods, his brow furrowed thoughtfully.

we eat, talking about everything other than the party it seems. grayson tells ethan more on how he managed to find him and he nods, his eyes cast on his food. apparently, he traced him to portland via his phone number provided from their neighbors back in jersey, saying he knew he worked at crystal publishing from the same people.

i learn a lot about ethan and grayson's life in jersey from this short conversation. they talk of their old neighborhood, exchanging memories of people from their old schools. even though i have no idea who or what the hell they're talking about, i'm so glad to see ethan is warming back up to grayson, and i can tell he is, too.

we stay in our pajamas until two o'clock, watching TV and avoiding the topic of the party looming ahead.

we go back into our room while grayson gets ready for the party.

i lean in and kiss him slowly, his tongue making its way into my mouth. his arms pull me closer by the waist and i take a long breath of his spearmint scent that i have grown to love so much.

we pull away and he leans his forehead against mine.

"whatever happens from this moment on, i want you to know that i love you," he breathes, and i instantly know he's referring to the party.

i nod, looking into his eyes. "i love you too," i say, my voice soft. "i always will."

he kisses me again quickly before checking the time.

"it's four thirty, we should get ready if we want to be there by six."

i nod and i walk across the hall to my apartment. i get in the shower, the hot water calming me slightly, but not much. i dry my hair and straighten it, applying eye makeup quickly.

i walk to my closet and pull out the pink  colored dress i got with a slit on the side. i do like it, i'll admit. even if i'm wearing it to a party that scares the living shit out of me, it's very pretty and fits me well.

ethan knocks at my door at five and i grab my keys, swiping lipgloss one last time and pulling on black pumps before opening the door.

he wears a black blazer and slacks, a white dress shirt under his jacket. he looks so handsome and classic, his look is so simple but so perfect for him. his eyes dilate at me as he looks me up and down.

"you look sexy," he says, his eyes trailing back up my body to my eyes.

i half smile at him, shutting the door behind me. "i could say the same to you."

he smiles crookedly and offers me his arm as grayson emerges from ethan's apartment in a similar outfit as ethan's.

ethan and i take deep breaths the entire car ride to crystal, my nerves skyrocketing as we pull into the lot.

he offers me his hand and i take it when we get out of the car.

i squeeze his hand as we walk in to crystal, facing all that lies ahead on this fateful night.