In This Love

Why

It had been 6 hours since Rhys had left and he still hadn't called me yet. I called him but his phone went straight to the voicemail. I was laying on my bed, thinking what if Mr.Holt's condition was something that we couldn't get out of. What if he was in a bad state and Rhys was too lost to tell me about it.

I was desperate to know if he was okay. If both of them were okay. I remembered all those countless times when he would come and visit us. Or just me from time to time and talk to me about life. I always saw the man Rhys was today reflecting him, the man he would be when the time passes.

With one wish that he lives a long life, or that Rhys has time to say goodbye to him. Cause that's what I wanted when Ridge was gone. A proper goodbye. Even Ridge got to say goodbye to me in those letters but I didn't.

With such thoughts still surviving in my head, I slowly drifted to sleep.

I woke up later to the sound of my bedroom being opened, the sleep had held me so captivated that my mind could barely make out what was happening around me.

When my vision cleared, when my thought process started. My brain filled with everything that had happened a couple of hours ago.

Us talking. Rhys getting a phone call. Mr. Holt getting a heart attack. Rhys leaving. Him not calling me back. Where was he?

I opened my eyes only to find a figure sitting on the edge of my bed. My vision cleared, soon I realised that it was Rhys.

Sunlight escaped through his dark messy hair, his clothes were wrinkled but his spicy scent still spread across my room. I couldn't see his face yet but I sensed that something was terribly wrong judging by his posture. His head hung low like he was restless, his hand was fisted into a five as if he was trying to control something in him.

Was he hurt?

I got up from where I was laying, not caring for how I looked as I flung my feet of the bed and came close to him.

When he came into my vision, I saw no emotion what so ever in his blue eyes. No sadness. No pain. No grief. Nothing. At all.

He didn't lift his head to look at me, I expected tears in his eyes if his Dad was already gone. I expected relief on his face if he hadn't left us yet.

But Rhys was sitting there like an emotionless machine.

"Is Dad okay? Rhys?" I asked as I lifted my hand to calmly touch the side of his face "You weren't answering any of my phone calls. Please tell me what happened" I panicked when he didn't answer me.

"He's okay" he gritted out.

Relief washed over me like calmness. I mentally thanked God for not taking him from us. I rubbed my thumb over his cheek saying "Then what's wrong?"

Suddenly, his right hand gripped my hand that was resting on his face. The grip was so tight that it hurt. I looked at him with confusion when he got up pushing me away with such force that I almost fell.

After that, he walked over to my dresser picking up something that I was seeing for the first time.

Pure rage burned in his eyes as he said "How long were you planning on keeping this as a secret from me?" So many emotions were flickering in him, as if he was malfunctioning.

My thoughts traveled back to the secret about the fourth letter that I  had kept from him, so he had found out about it. But why was he so furious, why did he looked like he was betrayed.

"I wanted to tell you but I didn't know how" I could feel the tears rising in my eyes as I walked towards him.

With every step I was taking, it felt like I was losing him.