In This Love

What It Holds

In the morning when I had everything good and ready to go. After last night, I was more sure to leave than before. My hand reached to call Sarah who would pick me up to take me to her house. I heard a knock on my bedroom door. Taking a deep breath, pushing down the regret of possibly lying to Rhys about this I walked to the door with my cane and opened it.

I found him standing there in casual clothes as if he was ready to go somewhere. It was a Saturday and it was obvious that he and Alex were planning some day together.

I stood there in confusion as he assessed me, maybe it was the royal blue dress that I was wearing that might be giving him nostalgia. It was the same dress that I had worn when I first met him.

Then the reality of the truth hit me, as my mind was about to drift to somewhere else where I would related this moment to some prediction of our future. I said "Going somewhere?" With a gentle smile on my face.

I was the worse when it came to hiding pain, I knew it. Rhys knew it, but this time that smile I had on my face left him sad that I was actually happy to leave this place for a while.

I was in somewhere in my heart. Just a little though.

"I was leaving to go to Alex's place. Want me to drop you off at Sarah's?" He offered, a dangerous offer. Maybe it was my raise in the chin and my shoulders that showed that I was guarding myself from something or someone.

Was me lying to him making me feel like a had to escape him?

Do you want to escape him?

Of course not. I wouldn't want to escape him, ever.

I took a deep beath and let myself calm down. I walked out of the room with a curt nod and turned around as if forgot to get the things that I had packed. Before I could grab my luggage, Rhys came from behind and took it from me.

"I can pick it up" I said with humor. Rhysand's hair fell in front of his face as he bend down to grab my purse that was lying on the ground. Another bag with all of Cassian's things in it.

We both walked towards the car in silence as my dog ran in front of us. Rhys put my stuff in the car before handing Cassian over to me.

When we were on the road he asked breaking the calm silence "Are you sure you want to take Cassian with you? I mean, I can take care of him if you want" I let out a chuckle.

"Just say that you're gonna miss him" I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear as I wondered what he would be doing while I'm gone.

"He isn't the only thing that I'll miss" I heard him mumble under his breath.

"You can't take care of him. You leave our home at 9 in the morning and come back at 9 or 10 if you're lucky. Usually, you come back at 12. So I don't want to come back home after almost two weeks to find my precious baby sad" I said as I kissed the top of Cassian's head.

"Which one?" Rhys said in the most cocky way possible causing me to burst in laughter. Through my laugh I said, "I couldn't have been more clear that i was talking to the dog" on my reply Rhys laughed with me.

It was like the first in such a long time I felt this alive, I was alive in this moment. The moment that I will cherish when the days are the darkest. People wish that they would know that their "good old days" would become something so much more even when they are in the moment.

But I knew for a fact that this day was my "good old day" I hoped that wherever life took us, I would remember this.

"I love it when you say " our home"" Rhys said making my heart race as the moments passed making my cheeks feel warm. I didn't regret saying it, it was like my lists of regrets was prioritised. Surely, this wasn't one of them.