For His Protection

10. From Heart to Heart

Serena had closed her eyes together tightly the moment they left the Forbidden Forest. Only when she felt Severus let go of her hand did she open them again. He stepped in front of her, his eyes questioning and one eyebrow arched.

"Are you alright?"

She stared at him. She wondered why he had asked her that. "Fine. Why?"

He frowned. "You had your eyes closed. I thought that maybe I had been holding your hand too tightly or something." He thought that she might still be a little unsure of him too, but he didn't voice that concern. There was no use in adding more bricks to the wall that seemed to be between them if he didn't have to.

She shifted uncomfortably. "No. You weren't holding me too tightly. I was just-" She paused, frowning. "I always close my eyes when I apparate. It's a habit."

Severus smiled, a little bit relieved. "You've always been a little worrisome about it, haven't you?"

"You know I have. You remember my first time."

His smile broadened. "How could I forget? You nearly shattered every window in the Great Hall you screamed so loud. So it still scares you?"

She cast her eyes to the floor. "Just a little. A lot still scares me. You still scare me." His smile faded. She hadn't intended to say that last part out loud. One look at his face and the hurt just behind his dark eyes, and she had to clarify. "I mean what you were." But it was too late and it was a lie. That's not what scared her, but she pushed that thought out of her head for now. She saw that familiar fire in his eyes, the one that indicated anger.

"If I am who I say I am, right?" he asked bitterly. "You still don't really know, but you should. No matter what you think, I'm not going to hurt you." He walked away from her, and for the first time, she finally noticed where they had ended up.

They were in a house. She wasn't sure what city or what street, but it was a small dwelling. Big enough for one, maybe two people to inhabit the best she could tell. Serena allowed her eyes to search every inch of her surroundings. Behind her was, what she assumed, was the front door. To her left was a whole wall lined with shelves stocked with books, some old, some new. With a brief glance at a few titles, she could see that the subject matter they covered was diverse. In front of that wall sat a single wooden rocking chair with a table beside of it and lamp on top of it. To the right was a wooden mantle decorated with pictures and trinkets over top of a gorgeous stone fireplace. There was a couch in front of it; it looked warm and inviting. She imagined the fire was quite comforting on a cold winter night especially. Severus was seated on that couch, leaning forward, his eyes straight ahead. Instantly she felt guilty for what she had said.

Serena walked over to the couch and took a seat beside of Severus. She could see the rest of the house from where she was sitting. There was a spacious kitchen where she imagined he had concocted many potions and a hallway that she assumed lead to his bedroom and bathroom. There was no television though. She imagined that he spent most of his time either out or reading. That sounded like Severus.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to come out," Serena told him honestly. "It's just...hard."

Severus kept his eyes straight forward. "And you don't think it's hard for me? I know what I did was awful. I know that you look at me like I'm some sort of monster."

"That's not true," she said softly. "I know you're not a monster. You never were. You were just...misguided."

He rubbed his hands down his face. "I've done horrible things. Tortured people. Done things that I can't even talk about. Maybe I am a monster."

Serena scooted closer to him. "No. You're not. I won't accept that."

"You said that I scare you."