Serendipity || DONGJUN

Donghun?

"Hey" Donghun gave Junhee a small wave. Junhee glared at him and turned back to his mirror, he grabbed a clip off his desk that was next to the mirror and pinned back his hair then grabbed the sheet mask that sat next to the clip on the desk. "Junhee, listen," Donghun sighed. Junhee looked up from the package in his hands to Donghun in the mirror. "I know you're mad at me, I know I hurt you—" Donghun paused, Junhee was smoothing out the mask on his face. "I'm sorry, how I acted was one hundred percent unacceptable. I remember what happened outside my house—I can't express how sorry I am, I was angry at my father and I took it out on you." Junhee was on his phone, sitting cross-legged on the floor. He was listening, he just wasn't going to say anything.

"Junhee, my father... he's not someone I am very fond of," Donghun cleared his throat, "When I was seven years old, he picked up everything and left us. He left just so he could be with his side chick, only to get married and divorced eight months later. Soon after that—maybe about ten months later; he got married again and was divorced after six years. All this while still being legally married to my mom. That was the first and only time I've seen her show any emotion, she slept with our neighbours and even the sheriff—which is why I get away with a lot of things. Our house was a mess, my mom was always drunk or high off prescription pills. My mom's a psychiatrist, by the way—just imagine how much trouble she would be in if anyone had found out about that at the time." Donghun paused his story to check on Junhee, seeing if he showed any signs of listening to his sop story. He saw them and continued.

"With the house in such bad shape, Jieun; my older sister, had to take care of me. She was more of a mother to me than my actual mom ever was and ever could be. Jieun made me food, she helped me with my homework and even took me to my sports events. When I turned twelve my mom decided to go to rehab, once she got clean, she was back to how she was when she was with my father—controlling. She likes having power over someone and she liked to try to control me—she still likes to try and control me. With her being so controlling I felt the need to rebel against her and do all the things I was told not to do, drink, smoke, have sex, you know, all those kinds of things parents tell their children not to do when they're young. I was fifteen, maybe fourteen when I started to do all those things, I snuck out of the house often to go to all sorts of parties. God, this is so bad, I even used to go to insomnia parties. I'm surprised I'm not dead with the number of drugs I took back then, I probably took enough that should've made my brain go mush. I'm not sure how I'm still fully functioning." Donghun let out a short scoff at his words. He felt kind of stupid just sitting on Junhee's bed talking to him and him not saying anything.

"Anyway, it was around that time I found out I was bisexual, and I never actually came out to my family. They just kinda figured it out on their own over the years when I got brave enough to bring people home. It was scary but I felt like I had to keep the 'I don't care' image around my family, now I know I don't but at the time I felt like I had to. That lead to me leading myself into a depression, I had to start seeing someone to help me and they were the only person I formally came out to and they didn't judge me. It was so nice to have someone to talk to, yeah, I paid them. but it still made me feel better. When my mom found out I was depressed she didn't show any sympathy, she just made a snarky remark and went back to her work. It made me feel shitty about myself, I had very low self-esteem when I was younger even if it didn't seem like it. I hated myself and it took a long time for me to gain confidence." Donghun was starting to feel like he was revealing too much and he felt his defences start to come up. He visibly stiffened. Junhee was watching him through the mirror, he turned around and stared at Donghun. Neither of them was saying anything, the room felt awkward without anyone saying anything. It was starting to become tense, Junhee took off his sheet mask and set it in his small garbage can that sat beside his mirror.