Keep Me Close - Joshler

1

"Wake up, sweetheart. I'm opening the curtain." I felt my mom shake me awake until my eyes open, then within a few seconds, had sunlight flood into my room. I immediately swung my arm over my eyes, groaning at the intensity. She shook my feet through the blanket as she walked out of my room. "Out of bed, Terra. First day of school and no one wants to be late because of you!"

Just hearing that put me down. Terra. First day of school. Woo fucking hoo.

I forced myself out of bed, not even bothering to look in the mirror before I picked my clothes out. I'd gotten into the habit of just going to the dresser, grabbing clothes, and throwing them on without really worrying about how it looks. That's how depression works.

Two sports bras, a hoodie, a pair of basketball shorts, and a pair of sneakers later, I'm out of my room and into the bathroom, double checking my pockets to make sure my phone, earbuds, and keys are there. I caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror. My skin was only slightly tanned from being outside in the summer, but not a nice "golden tan". The slight coloration of my skin made my dark circles more prominent, making me almost look sick. My hair was worse. My hair was a mousy brown, cut into a short bob that went about an inch past my chin, and you can tell it was unbrushed. I huffed, grabbed a hair tie off of the bathroom counter, and got my hair into a messy low ponytail before walking out of the bathroom and going downstairs, ready to begin another disgusting year of high school.

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Walking into the school mad me feel sick. It was still warm outside but the air conditioning wasn't turned on in the building, making the atmosphere humid and sticky. I mindlessly walked straight to where my locker was, since I had to go to orientation and make sure my combination worked, I already knew where to go. I threw my backpack into the confined metal space after taking out the things I'd need for my first few classes, since they were all close to each other.

I jumped and made an embarrassing noise when I felt large hands grip tightly on my shoulders, dropping my notebooks in the process. I heard a very familiar laughed and sighed. Josh.

Josh has been one of my closest friends for years. He clung to me when we first met in middle school, since he was the new kid and apparently I looked interesting. He knows nearly every little secret about me. Nearly. I'm not ready to tell him my biggest secret. I'm not ready for anybody to know.

I don't want to be Terra. I don't want my long hair or my short stature or feminine body. I don't want to have to walk into the girls' bathroom everyday. I actually want the complete opposite. 

I wish I was someone else.

(Short first chapter, but we all know that's how I work lol. I promise that the other chapters after this are full!)