Friends, Lovers, or Nothing

Chapter Fifteen - 3x5

As Jaxon and I stood there catching our breaths, I couldn't even begin to comprehend all of what just happened. One moment we were talking about my shitty luck in birthday gifts and next Jaxon's tongue was in my mouth. But I couldn't deny the achy feeling in my stomach as we both pulled away from one another, a cramping pain that was almost pleasant in a way. I had never felt this way before and I was equally terrified and excited by the kiss.

Jaxon finally takes a deep breath in and then out, turning to me with a smile on his face, "I've wanted to do that for a while," he admits and I tilt my head in questioning.

"Really?" I ask him, somewhat pleased with his bold confession.

"Yup," he deadpans, looking over toward me. We both smile and start laughing until we hear a commotion coming from downstairs.

"They're probably wondering where the birthday boy snuck off to," I tell him.

"I couldn't care less what they're wondering," he says, using his hand to brush a piece of falling hair away from my eyes.

"I wish you would tell me what's going on in that pretty little head of yours," he says, "but I know that's hard for you. So tell you what,"

Jaxon takes a step away from me and makes a motion with his hands as though he's dribbling a basketball. He then pretends to throw said ball to me, throwing his hands up in the air afterward.

"The balls in your court now, Blakey,"

I roll my eyes at him and grab onto his hand, "Cmon, you have a party to attend to," I tell him, and we begin our ascend back down the stairs and towards the loud music and hoards of people.

I spot Shauna right away once we reach the main floor. She's standing by the stairs with a red solo cup in one hand, her eyes already fixated on her intended target; Jaxon.

"Jax!" She calls out and he audibly groans next to me. I couldn't help but feel a sense of joy from his reaction to her.

"Hey Shauna," he replies politely.

"Can we go out back and talk for a second," she looks to me then back towards Jaxon, "alone."

I also turn my attention towards Jaxon who's now giving Shauna a reluctant look until she speaks again, "Jaxon, please. It's important," she says.

Jaxon reluctantly walks towards her but not before turning back towards me, "I'm sorry, I have to. I'll find you later," he calls out and then they're off down the hall towards the kitchen.

When I was a little girl in elementary school, there were few things that didn't make me jealous of all the other kids at school. The new sneakers all the kids would be wearing on the first day back from summer. The notes that my classmate's moms would leave them in their lunchboxes every day. The kids who got picked up in their mom's minivans every day after school while I took the public bus. But I had grown out of that fast.

By high school, I never found any good in sitting around and lusting after things that I knew I would never have. A pretty dress for prom. Money for Friday night football games. A mom or dad to make me home-cooked dinner every night. None of that mattered much to me. Or if it did, I never let those thoughts infiltrate my mind much.

But right now, standing alone in the Alpha Delta Phi front room, I was ragging with unmet jealousy and I absolutely hated it.

...

"Hey, do you have an extra pencil? Blake, hello?"

I look up and notice Layla sitting next to me in the lecture hall. I had been in my own little world it seems before she dragged me from my thoughts.