Nightmares ➳ Connor McDonough/ Before You Exit Fanfic { edited }

Twenty Two

A/N: I suggest that you get some tissues ready.

Gwen's POV

I didn't even bother to wait and let Riley explain why Connor was in the hospital because before I knew it, I completely shut down and my arm involuntarily stretched out to press the button for the ground floor.

"I'd like to say that he's pretty stable, but the doctors don't think he'll be able to hang on for too long," was all that I heard from Riley before I scrambled out of the elevator and the apartment complex, headed for my car.

"This is all my fault. This is all my fault. This is all my damn fault," I mumbled over and over to myself as I struggled to jam the keys into the lock of my car because the tears I was trying to hold in were beginning to make my vision blurrier and blurrier with each second that passed. But when I was finally able to get in, I didn't waste a single moment. I started the engine and sped down every single street because I had to get to the hospital as fast as I possibly could. Before it was too late.

When I arrived in front of the hospital, I slammed my foot on the brake and jumped out, not even bothering to grab my keys, or lock the doors. I couldn't care less what they'd do to my car. I just needed to get to Connor.

"McDonough," I said to the lady behind the front desk, the seriousness and panic in my voice crushing, and she looked a little taken aback by my overall demeanor. And in any other situation, I would've found it quite funny because there was nothing about me that seemed threatening, but I couldn't even bring myself to muster a smile.

"Second floor. Room 219."

I practically ran to the elevator, praying that it was faster than the one in the apartment complex and I thanked my lucky stars that it was. In fact, I reached the second floor in no time at all and I ran down the hall as fast as my legs could go until I was finally in front of room 219.

I knocked on the door a couple times -- so softly that I didn't think anyone had heard -- but then, it opened to reveal Dr. Emerson and I had to take a few steps back due to our extremely close proximity. It was slightly uncomfortable and I didn't even think she'd have it in her heart to visit. She just didn't seem like the type to me, but I guess I was wrong.

"Hello Gwen," she said warmly and I tried my best to smile back, even if it was forced, and I couldn't help but notice the tiny traces of -- what looked like -- pity etched on her face.

"What are you doing here?" I asked before I could process the words in my head and whether or not it would make sense in this conversation. I mean, it was pretty obvious what she was doing.

"I'm visiting one of my favorite patients, and I'm guessing that you're here to visit your boyfriend."

"Ex-boyfriend, actually," I said without batting an eye and her expression fell a bit, but it was hardly noticeable. "We're not together anymore."

"Well, I'll let you go inside now. Say what you need to say, you know," Dr. Emerson said and I nodded. I needed to tell him how sorry i was, how much I loved him, and how much I still love him. And there was this knot in my gut that made me aware that his time was almost up. I needed to say goodbye.

I was about to step inside until a doctor came out of nowhere, followed by a nurse, and pushed me out of the way.

"Sorry, ma'am, but I have to check on some things right now. Don't worry it'll only take a few minutes minutes at most," he said and went inside, locking the door and the nurse simply stood and waited outside in case anything bad happened, or until the doctor needed her assistance. Whichever came first.

"Do you know what happened to him?" I asked, not being able hold my tongue. I just needed answers.

"Yes, I do," she replied, giving me one of those pity smiles that you just couldn't help but hate. "He fell asleep, had a really bad nightmare, and didn't wake up until ten minutes ago. We asked his brothers what happened before they called 911 and they said he was sweating and screaming. Once he arrived here, we figured out that he had a heart attack in his sleep. He just couldn't handle all of that adrenaline." She was shaking her head. I wasn't even sure if she was allowed to tell me all this stuff but I was thankful and my heart felt lighter and heavier at the same time. "It's a miracle that he survived, but I don't think he'll -- uh, sorry."