You Know, I Know
"Are you hiding from me? Are you avoiding me? Is it because you hurt me? Or is it because you knew I knew you were cheating?
You know I know that you don't sleep with me anymore. That you sneak out every night and come back before dawn and I'll pretend that I didn't see you or knew where you were going. I know you know.
I always wake up in the middle of the night and when I don't find you there, I know where you were. You know I know.
Every morning, when I'll make you breakfast and I'll notice bags under your eyes, I'll ask you how was your night and you'll reply me with 'it was good' and a fake smile, I knew there was something more than just it being 'good'. You know I know.
Every night, when I'll feel you creeping out of the bed and into the darkness of the streets, I feel my eyes sting with the burning sensation of tears and I'll have to bite my lip in order to keep my sobs in, I know you know.
Every time when your phone buzzes and you keep smiling and blushing, I know there was someone else. You knew I knew.
I know you've noticed my gunshot eyes because I've been crying all day and night and you didn't say anything. You didn't even ask me what happened. I know you know.
You knew I knew, that I've seen your messages with her, the love you've started giving her while mine was fading away from your heart even though I was right there with you all the time. You stopped loving me and even though we were still together. I was breathing for you, but you loved someone right in front of me. You know I knew.
I saw you kissing her in that park that Saturday evening. When I texted you where you were, you told me you were at work, and I was looking at you. You kissed her. I guess I was staring so hard at you because your head snapped in my direction and I could see the fear and guilt in your eyes. Tears stained my face and I went home running and crying. I could hear you calling my name. I know you knew I was hurt.
You didn't come back home that day. You didn't even text to check up on me and I spent the next couple of days anticipating you but you never showed up. It broke my heart even more knowing you didn't even care enough to text me or apologize. I knew it was the end.
I took out all your belongings and threw them out. Burnt every single thing that reminded me of you. I saw you taking your clothes that night. You thought I didn't see you, but I did. And I smiled so weakly knowing you were still alive and breathing.
You knew I knew. Yet you kept quiet. You never texted till 3 months later. 'Sorry for my actions' you stated. So stupid I laughed till I cried. I wanted to take all those toxic feelings out of my heart so I called you and yelled and insulted you. I yelled and yelled and yelled till I broke down crying. You know, I actually felt better after that.
I needed the call. I still see you in the streets occasionally. You know I know that you're avoiding me. And thats fine. For cheats have no place in my life. I know you know."
