Absent

Chapter 16: Not-so-positive reactions

I have never felt this way before. I'm anxious the ten minutes it takes Alex to arrive, but at peace the whole ride. His absence makes me want his presence. His presence makes me love him. It's simple, right?

He's going to school only because, after the events of yesterday, he doesn't want me to face things by myself, or to feel like my world could crumble apart. Next to him, I don't even have a hint of negative feelings. He insisted in coming. I'm glad he insisted.

He parks the motorcycle and we jump down, inmediatly attracting more than a few stares our way. But no one seems surprised. If anything, their looks are of pity towards me. What the hell with this school?

My worries slip away when Alex holds my hand, and he is, once again, all that exists in my world. It almost hurts when we break apart to go to different classes. I enter History and take my usual sit, not disturbed by any whisperings until they turn into my friend's loud voices.

"Heather Peacock, what do you think you're doing?" Vicky demands to know. Jimmy is about to add to it, but as always, Vicky has more to say. "First, you get yourself suspended for two days. Then you come back, and -are you dating Alexander Magalski and didn't think it'd be worth mentioning? Are you insane?"

"I was going to tell you, Vicky." I answer simply.

"So it's true?! Why? Don't you love Chester?" She accuses me at the same moment Chester enters. He steals a glimpse at us, and debates with himself about following the calling, or ignoring it. Unfortunately, he approaches us. "Did I hear my name?"

"Perhaps." I reply, but Vicky holds a hand up.

"Uh-uh. I'm the one talking here. Yes, Chester, I mentioned you. I'm having a serious conversation with Heather about her reasons to date Alexander Magalski. She isn't justifying correctly. It makes no sense why she would chose a guy like Alexander Ma-"

"-Vicky, stop saying Magalski. I don't like it." I interrupt her, as respectfully as I can sound. "Second of all, I haven't answered why I'm dating Alex. And it's actually quite simple. I think I'm in love with him."

"You think."

"Yeah, I think. I'm not sure of where the freaking border dividing an 'I love you' to an 'I like you' stands at, alright? The person I've ever loved is freaking dead, so I don't have a reference, and it scares me too to fall in love so quickly of a guy I barely met. So congratulations Vicky, you just made me confess thoughts I didn't even know I had! Now I'm not sure of anything!"

I pick up my things hastily and storm out. In seconds, I'm exiting through my secret door, and walking down the street to somewhere where I can be left alone to think.

But thinking scares me. What will I find out of when I think of things?
I spot a cafeteria close by, and without hesitation, make my way to it. I'm numb to the noise around me as I have the spark of fury burn alive inside me. I enter the cafeteria and pick a random table.

Finally, I breathe deeply and urge myself to calm down. I can't stress myself. I can't stress myself. I can't stress myself. I can't stress-

"-What will you have?" A guy asks me.

"The most ordinary and dull thing you've got."

"So... a black coffee?"

"Sure."

He eyes me doubtfully, and decides to not to ask further questions. I stare down at my hands and think... I think I love Alex. But I don't really know him. I don't know what he likes. I don't know what his dreams are. I don't know what his relationship with Harrison was. I don't like his last name. I don't like to think of Harrison. I don't like to think Alex is Harrison's son. I don't know how Alex looks at me, knowing I'm the cause his father is in jail. I don't know what he feels about his father being in jail. I don't know if he's really ashamed of it. I don't know if he'll end up the same way.