Absent

Chapter 13: Not-so-calmed emergencies

I'd like to say that Alex and I were ready for this information, and mentally ready for anything. I'd like to say that we talked to each other on the way. But that'd be a lie. I was struggling not to have a panic attack every second we approached the hospital, and focusing on stressing myself or drowning in anxiety.

I had to insist in coming here today. Alex complained that if he cried in front of me, he'd never forgive himself.

But there's no reason to cry, right?

I also intended to get information from him, asking if his father had heart diseases, but all Alex answered was, "I never really talked to Harrison. Nor will I start now." So I gave up and sighed.

We arrive and a nurse guides us to some offices, leading us to a door with a shiny and professional plaque that reads Dr. Kelsey, Cardiologist.

We enter a spotlessly white room, with drawings of the heart and its composition, with drawings that point out names to each part. Vena cava. Aorta. Pulmonary artery. Left atrium. Donor Heart.

Donor Heart? Dr. Christina Kelsey is sitting behind her desk, looking fondly at us, patiently waiting for us to gather confidence and sit down. Alex goes first, doing his best to appear strong for me, or for himself? I respond with courage and grab his hand with mine, careful not to pressure it too much. Just enough to let him know I'm here. I'm next to him. I'm always next to him.

Dr. Kelsey smiles, inviting us to make questions, but we remain immobile and quiet, like two little kids being reprehended.

"My name is Dr. Christina Kelsey. I want you to know, before we begin, that it is completely acceptable for you to present any doubts you may have. Now, we have the test results here, Mr. Magalski. Would you like to see them?"

"Yes."

"No."

I look at him, pleading with my eyes. I do want him to inspect the files, but he said no and he looks decided. I sigh. "No." I say, as if I've changed my mind. Dr. Kelsey nods for confirmation, and drives her hand away from the files.

"As you wish. Mr. Magalski, I'm afraid I can't prepare you for the news. You'll have to undergo a transplant, which I personally will perform with a group of capable doctors and assistants." She explains, with a model of voice straight and slow. "The disease is called coronary artery disease, or atherosclerotic heart disease. It is most common for patients with addictions for smoking, high blood cholesterol, diabetes, or high blood pressure. It is also known to be common for those who have close relatives with CAD, as it is your particular case. Regardless of how this may sound, the death rate is remarkably low, and there is no reason for you to worry about this process. On brighter news, we already found a possible source for a donation, and it's very probable that it's compatible with your situation. Since we have diagnosed this disease on time, if the transplant goes as planned; we may cure it before it's prolonged enough to make you vulnerable to heart attacks..."

I heard half of her long speech. None of us made any interruptions; the message was clear. If the transplant wasn't done, Alex would die of a heart attack. If it was done, there were about 15% of odds that he'd die in the surgery. Either way, his life in is danger.
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We exit the hospital with a new mood. Now, there's no wonder of hope that there's nothing wrong. Now we know there's something wrong. I hug him tightly, and let his head rest in my shoulder. He manages to hug me back, and we both feel soothed by it. He drives me home, and I make sure to kiss his cheek before he leaves.

I enter my house and head to the kitchen. I grab some food and walk directly to my room, before Lindsey comes to question me in things I forgot to do. I'll deal with Gissele some other day.

I'm lying on my bed when my phone rings. Chester.

"Hey." I answer.

"Hey." He says. "Why did you run like that at school?"

"I'm sorry. I had to meet someone fast."

"Yes, but out of school? Where do you always go, Heather? Should I be worried someone's stealing you?"

"Not at all about me, Chester. As for you..." I begin to say, murmuring the last part.

"What about me?"

"Well, you didn't tell me you were dating Gissele Shields." I say, sounding a more furious than intended. "As your friend, I'd like for you to talk about this things earlier."

"What? No! I'm not dating her. She's just very cool, that's all. She's a friend. You're the only one I love, Heather. Don't be jealous."

"I'm not jealous!" I scream, losing my tone of voice. I hang up before the conversation moves to topics that I'm not ready to discuss, and fall asleep.