Absent

Chapter 8: Not-so-talkative Javier

We arrive to my house sometime around 9:00 p.m. The street lamps and lovable stars provide our only illumination. And that's enough to see Chester's desire of me, of how his face betrays his freshness. I leave him with the promise of never quit trying to revive that something between us.

I enter my house and my first encounter is with my mother, getting ready for her night-shift. She stares at me, trying to remember who am I. When the blank expression on her face is clouded by pretended concern, she rummages her bag for her phone. Then, with her attention parted, she meets my gaze.

"Do you know what hour it is? I do not tolerate unpunctuality in this house, young lady. I hope this behavior does not repeat itself. No child of mine will disobey my rules." She says simply, stills a glimpse at me to confirm I've heard, and exits the house with no goodbye to offer.

I'm accustomed to this cold treatment, so I sigh and move to the kitchen. I fill a glass with orange juice, when Javier enters. He takes no notice of me as he devours last-night Spaghuetti. I gather courage.

"Hey." I say, hoping that's enough to start a brother-sister conversation.
He murmurs something that sounded like hey.

"Haven't you eaten all day?"

He swallows a large serving, drinks from the juice on my hand, and shakes his head. He leaves.

I follow.

"Wait!"

He turns around, confused, unsure of why would I want to talk with him. "Gonna reprehend me like mother?"

"Not at all. I just want us to talk." I say, moving my hands a lot. He hesitates, but then agrees and we sit on the living room, shy of each other.

He's my older bro, my helping hand for as long as I can remember. But he's also a stranger, and now it's so easy to notice that. Our blood is not the same, our faces scarred by realities so apart... Then again, everyone in this ruptured family feels the same: they feel like misplaced people, not understanding why they have been placed next to all these other misplaced people.

Tragedies bring you together, or create oceans between continents.

"How are Brick and Maria?" I take the lead. Brick and Maria are his birth-grandparents, which he visits often.

"Old."

"University?"

"Boring."

"Illegal acts?"

"None."

"Girlfriend?"

"Inexistent."

"Notes?"

"Relative."

"Driving Lessons?"

"Progressing."

I sigh and wave him away with my hand. He leaves and I stay a while, before giving up to sleep, and heading to my room, sorta wishing that I had my own real family to count on when this first one fails. But there's no one else.

Then again, aren't I being selfish? Javier probably hates being caught between two families, one so broken, and the other one who didn't acknowledge his existence for a great portion of his life. His mother is dead, but it was her decision to give him away without telling her parents to whom. Javier himself found them when he was old enough.

I wonder if he ever regrets that.

If he hadn't found Brick and Maria, maybe him and Lindsey could've given it their all to rescue the Peacocks. But he turned his back, and Lin's loneliness drove her mad.

So here I am, with no one willing to fight by my side. "You're too late, sis," they seem to be telling me. "Why did you wake up at all? To disturb the ashes?"

I mean, isn't that why they really brought me home from the hospital?

To let me die here?