Barrett: A Love Beyond Time

Chapter 5

Chapter 5 - Small Shrapnel 

- Just friends. - He explained. - It will be better that way.

I knew he had been hurt by what had happened, not even really showing it. He was a strong man that I knew very well, but it seems that half of this force was gone the instant he turned away from me. He no longer slept in the same bed as me, let alone talk to me.

- I'll only be here for a while until I can find a place where I can stay. - He said quietly. - Do not worry, I sleep in the room and leave early in the morning. I do not want to bother you.

- You do not need to do this. - I answered. - Here is your home, you will never bother me.

- I prefer it that way.

And so it was that we both had fallen into an abyss. It was something damn what was happening. This lasted for two months and still last. I no longer saw Roger. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, exit room and found him sleeping awkwardly on the couch, curled up with his cheeks wet with tears. On cooler evenings, I covered him and acedia the fireplace. I spent hours rubbing my hands in his hair, he looked like he slept calmer when I did that.

Sometimes it was he who came into our room and sat on the bed. He brushed his hand down my cheeks or by my hair. There were times he whispered things, but I never understood what he was talking about. I pretended to be asleep until it ends up actually falling asleep.

There was a day I fuss with it all and come out on the street behind him. As soon as I saw him, all the anger gone. Roger was teaching a little kid to play ball. Roger smiled at me for the first time in months.

I stood across the street watching them play with that ball that seemed to have just come out of the store. A few minutes later Roger fired the boy and walked to my side.

- I remembered Julia. - He said smiling. - If she were here, I would have taught her to walk, talk, play ball, swim, fish... I would do all the things my parents ever did to me.

- You do not think you're stealing somebody's place? - I asked quietly.

- He gave this place for me. - The smile disappeared from his face. - Do you remember? He was completely absent in the time that Julia was alive. I must admit that at the time was that we were full of demands, but nothing justifies abandoning you two .

- You remember how he talked to her, and how much she liked him? - I lowered my head. - You remember how he cried?

He stopped and stared at me.

- You know I remembered when I was little... - He said softly. - I was like that kid, no one to take care of me, no one to call me to come home, no one I could get my hand while walking down the street.

- I know what you went through... - I whispered.

- Yes, but I know you went through a worse situation than mine. - He smiled weakly. - It was time that we did not talk...

- Well, that was their choice. - I replied awkwardly.

- In fact it was his...

- You do not know how much he needed me! - I screamed.

- And I? You do not know how much I need you? - He shouted back.

I stood looking at him.

- I spent the night, dawn, waiting for you all morning. - He ran his hands through his hair. - And meanwhile you were probably warming the bed with him. Am I right or am I not?

I remain unanswered see the way the cold as he said everything.

- Best! Do not answer anything, I do not want to know. - He said. - I go to a bar, when I'm sure you 're sleeping... I return home.