*SMUT WARNING ⚠️* BILLIES POV It was now almost 8:00 and I think I've done enough crying for the day. But now that I'm done crying, I still have no one to talk to. All my friends are in LA sleeping right now. The only close friend I had in London was my friend Calvin so i decided to hit him up. BILLIE: Calvin! CALVIN💚: Billie! BILLIE: I'm bored CALVIN💚: I'm going to a party at 9, you wanna come with? BILLIE: omf yes. I'm bored ass shit CALVIN💚:bet send the addy. I'll pick you up. - Thank god for Calvin. I don't know what I would've done with myself for the rest of the night. Probably cry and think about Brandon more and more and we didn't need that. I got dressed pretty quickly and didn't dress up too much. I just worse some black pants, not too baggy. A plain not too baggy either and a LV bandana and some chains to spice it up. *THIS LV BANDANA*
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I met Calvin downstairs at the front desk. His car was parked right out front. "Hey, it's been a while" Calvin said walking over to me hugging me. "I know bro. Haven't been in the UK in a minute." I said as we walked towards his car. "So what type of party are we going to?" I asked. "A house party, not too far from here." "Will there be alcohol at this party?" Calvin turned to me looking confused. "Billie you don't even drink. Billie you can't even drink. The legal age is 18 here and you just turned 17." "And?? You know how many people drink at 18 when the legal Drinking age in America is 21?? And I'm pretty sure you started drinking before the legal age. It is not that big of a deal" I told him "Um yeah but that's even like you. You've never even drunken alcohol before. Ever. What's gotten into you Bil? You alright?" "Just because I want to act like a teenager for once I'm all of a sudden not alright? I mean jeesh it's not that deep. There's nothing wrong with me," I said annoyed. "Alrighty then" he said pulling off"
The drive was kind of awkward because I guess I did snap at him but the last thing I want right now is for someone to ask me if I'm alright when I'm not. Especially when it's about nothing either of us can fix. I just needed something to help me take my mind off of things and alcohol would do it. But I guess he was right. And drinking wasn't like me. We finally arrived to the house party. The house was pretty big and you could hear the music from outside. Calvin and I walked inside. As soon as we got in, I split up with him and started to wander off. "Wait, Billie where are you going?" He asked as I walked away. "You don't know anyone here." I continued walking off but still replying to him. "I'll be fine," I yelled back to him. "I don't think that's a good idea but just call me when your ready to go." He told me. "Mhm," I loudly replied to him so he'd here me over the loud music. First I went to the kitchen to see if they had any chips or something since that was all I could really eat. I saw they had some lays potato chips so I just grabbed a plate and coke. I made my way over to the living room where there were a bunch of couches and teens and young adults talking amongst each other. I walked over to a two seater black leather couch and immediately pulled out my phone. I went on Instagram and decided to see what some fans tagged me in. There were a lot of people posting a screenshot of Seven's Instagram story. He had posted a black screen saying my wife is mad at me. Yeah your damn right I'm mad at you. And how dare he call me his wife as if he really loved me. I got angry again. I was so angry that I didn't even notice that a guy had sat next to me and tried talking to me. He waved his hand in my face. "Hellooo?" He said laughing. I looked up from my phone confused. "Huh?" I said to him. "You alright? You look mad. Your too pretty to be mad." I just looked at him. "What's wrong? Come on vent to me. Is it an Ex?" "Pfft," I chucked. "How'd you know?" "I don't know. Luck I guess." He said smiling. He had a big smile. He had nice plump lips too. They looked all soft and pink. He also had soft looking skin too. His skin was Milky brown and he had nice big brown curls. His British accent was cute. He was cute. "So," He said. "You wanna tell me what happend? I'm all ears to rant to." "Talking about him more isn't gonna get me over him." I told him, looking at him deep into his eyes not braking eye contact. "Oh yeah? Well what will?" He asked with a smirk on his face, kind of knowing where this was going. "Come on." I said to him. Grabbing his hand and leading him upstairs as if I knew where I was going. I led him all the way upstairs and into an empty bed room. "Woah are you sure you wanna do all this? I mean I know you only want this just to do it and not because you like me or anything which I'm fine with if it'll help you and all bu- " "Stop talking," I cut him off as I locked the door and pushed him onto the bed. I connected our lips and started making out with him. It all happens so fast. One minute I was fully clothed and the next thing I knew I was laying on my back on the bed and he was on top of me kissing my neck leaving me hickies. He looked up at me to make sure if it was okay for him to put it in. A big part of me wanted to say no. Even if Brandon didn't love me, I still loved him and still only wanted him. I didn't want anyone els but him. But a big part of me was also still so angry. I nodded my head, telling him yeah, it was okay. He took out a condom from his pocket and began to thrust into me. To be honest, it wasn't even that good. His dick was pretty small and was nothing compared to Brandon's. I kind of felt disgusted with myself but don't want to make him feel bad though. He was doing it for me anyways. He pulled out and started to eat me out. He wasnt even doing it right. It didn't even feel good. I wanted to tell him to stop. Thankfully we were interpreted when I felt my phone ring. It was Calvin. I immediately answered. "Hello?" "Hey. Billie where are you? I've been looking for you for like 20 minutes. Are- are you in a bed room?" He asked looking at my surroundings. I scrambled around trying to put my pants back on. "Yeah Calvin I'm- I- I'll be right down. I'm just- I'll be right down, bye" I said hanging up the phone. "What the fuck did I just do? What the fuck did I just do??" I repeatedly mumbled trying to find my other shoe. I was about to cry. I knew I fucked up. Big time. "Hey you okay?" The guy asked. "No I'm not okay! I just fucked a guy and I don't even know his name. Oh my god, what the fuck did I just do." "It's okay, it's okay." He said trying to calm me down. "No, no it's not okay. How am I supposed to make up with Brandon if I just fucked everything up? I'm so stupid." " I'm sorry I thought you wanted it-" "No, no. It's not your fault it my fault. Fuck!" I yelled. "I fuck everything up!" I started walking towards the door. "Look I'm sorry for all this, your really sweet but I gotta go." I left the room quickly not trying to hear what he had to say. I had to get out of that house. As I was making my way downstairs I saw Calvin beginning to walk up the stairs. "Billie what-" "I'd dosent matter," I cut him off. "Let's just go- please." I said trying my hardest to fight back my tears. I knew I fucked up so bad. - Calvin didn't say anything the whole ride until we pulled up to the hotel. "Billie, I'm not gonna sit here and scold you because I know you know you fucked up but there were a lot of people at that party, if any of them saw you go upstairs with that boy..." he told me.
Fuck. I don't even think about that. The last thing I need is for people to be posting pictures of me with someone who wasn't Que. "Well let's just hope not because-" I was interrupted by the sound of paparazzi outside of the hotel. "Fuck! This is the last thing I need! I can't even go inside the hotel peacefully." "Do you want me to walk you in?" Calvin asked me. "No I'm just gonna run in, thanks tho. Bye, I'll see you later." I said as I quickly opened the door and ran into the hotel lobby. I didn't stop to talk or pose.
As soon as I got to my room I went straight to the mirror. "Fuck," I said out loud to myself. There were dark hickies all over my neck. They were so visible too. Now pap has all those photos of me with hickies.
My fans know that Que isn't with me on tour, when they see these pictures, they'll know something's up. What if Que sees those pictures with all those hickies??
All I could think about was how bad I fucked up and what the fuck did I just do.
