Oh god, I want you now

Chapter 7: Off to LA i guess

BILLIE'S POV
I called and called and texted and texted but he just wouldn't answer me. Damn, well now I knew how it feels. But I guess it's what a deserve. I should have never ignored him when all he was trying to do was look out for me. And after all my stubbornness, he still was apologizing to me. I didn't deserve him. He was so good to me and put me and my feelings before himself and like he said, I didn't do the same for him.

He sounded so hurt on the phone. I hurt him. I hurt the only person that meant something to me, the only person I loved, the only person that loved me. Knowing that I hurt him hurt so fucking bad. Why the fuck was I so stupid? How could I allow myself to do what I did, knowing it would hurt Brandon. And now, thinking back at it, I wanted to hurt Brandon. I wanted to hurt him because he hurt me but the thing is he didn't even hurt me, I was just being stupid like always.
Maybe it's good that I cheated on him, to show him that I was no good and that he deserved better. Because he did deserve better. He deserved someone better then I could ever be. Prettier, more mature. I felt like shit. I fuck everything up.

I kept on trying to call Brandon but still no answer. 

I needed to get his attention. I needed to talk to him. So, I decided to go on Instagram live and hopefully he'd join.

(OH MY FUCKING GODDDDD. I HAD THIS WHOLE PLAN TO USE THIS VIDEO OF BILLIE ON LIVE BASICALLY SAYING THAT SHE ALWAYS FUCKS SHIT UP AND IT WOULD HAVE FIT PERFECTLY BUT I CAN. NOT. FIND THAT FUCKINGGGGG VIDEOO. Omggg you guys don't even understand how much I've searched for that video and can't fucking find it. I know I have it in my camera roll but I can't find it and I've searched on fan pages and shit but still can't find it aaagggh. Now the chapters all fucked up but I already almost finished writing it so fuck it. I'm sorry. But if your a long time fan and you know what video I'm talking about, comment or something.) Anyways, back to the story😒😒😒

And now not only did I put all my business out on the internet for no reason because Brandon didn't even join my live, I still didn't get a chance to talk to him.

I was starting to think that I should just leave Brandon alone, that he'd be better off without me and even if he would, I just can't let this be the way we ended things. I did love him and want him back and even if he didn't want to take me back, I had to at least try. It may not look like it but I cared for Brandon too much and I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that I did nothing to at least try to make amends.

It was 2 in the morning but I couldn't go to sleep. I had to talk to Brandon. Now. And if he wouldn't answer my calls then I'd just have to go him.

Before even asking my parents or talking to my managers, I books a flight to LA.

I didn't even pack a bag. I just grabbed my phone and called my security guard and told him to meet me in the lobby and that we were leaving.

I then walked to my parents room. I knocked on their door and waited for them to open.
"Who is it?" I heard my dad ask.
"It's me."
He unlocked the door.
"Billie it's 2 in the morning what's wrong?" He asked confused.
"Dad I'm leaving. I have a flight to LA at three and me and my security are leaving. And I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. Im sorry, you'll just have to cancel the shows for the rest of the week. I have to go talk to Brandon."
"Billie you are not leaving by yourself." He told me sternly.
"I didn't say I was leaving by myself. I said I was leaving with my security."
"Patrick, what's going on? Whose there?" I heard my mom say, waking up walking up towards the door.
"It's me mom," I told her.
"Billie? What are you doing her? Are you alright?" She asked concerned.
"No, mom. I'm not. But It's okay I'm going to go fix everything when I get to LA. Well, hopefully."
"LA? Why are you going to LA," She asked.
"To fix things with Brandon mom- look my flight leaves in less then 40 minutes I have to go. I can't talk-" she cut me off
"Billie you can't just leave- you have shows and fans and a job-"
"Mom, I came to tell you I'm leaving, not to ask you. Now I have to go before I miss my flight. I'll text you as soon as I land and as soon as soon as I get to Brandon's house. I love you, but I have to make things right. There's a lot that you don't know about and I don't have time to go fully into detail but just know that I really fucked up and I need to make it right."  I told them before running off to the elevator. They didn't try to stop me which even if they did they wouldn't have stopped me but I guess they know by now that I'm gonna do what I want regardless.
-
We made it to the airport just in time. It's an 11 hour flight which I know was going to be long as hell because all I could think about was getting to Brandon.
Usually, I go to sleep on long flights like this but my nerves were shot and I was too anxious to even think about going to sleep. So I just went over in my head things that I needed to tell Brandon.
-
When we landed in LA it was just 5am. Brandon's house was only 30 minutes from the airport so that was good.

My security guard and I ordered an Uber to Brandon's house and since it was 5 in the morning it came within 5 minutes. Things were going really fast now and I got more nervous by the second. I started to shake my leg and I guess you could see the nervousness on my face because my security then asked  me if I was alright.
"I'm just nervous," I told him.
"Yeah I can tell. You alright?"
"I don't know, we'll see" I told him taking a deep breath as we turned down Brandon's street.
"Right here, on the right." I told the driver.
I got out of the car and thanked my security guard for coming with me all this way.
"No problem Billie. That's what I'm here for. Just text me when you make your way back home, alright?"
"I will. Thanks again."
"Stay safe, bye." He Said as I  closed the  door and he and the driver drove off.

Now, i just stood outside of Brandon's house. Shaking in my boots. I knew he was sleeping because it wasn't even 6am and it was still dark out.
Should I call him one more time or just walk in? I mean I have a key but do I want to sneak up on him? Does that seem creepy?
I literally stood outside his door pacing back and forth for 5 whole minutes until I finally worked up the courage to ring the doorbell. The sound of the doorbell made my heart sink. I froze at the door waiting to see what was about to happen next.