This diary belongs to: A little blonde brat.

~*♪ Day two ♪*~

Dear diary,

Today was strange. There was really no other way I could describe it. Strange, odd, weird. I feel alone all the time but today was worse, much worse.

I remember when I was little and I had Luka. I was so happy inside despite all of the daily hardships, I wasn't alone. It was when I was forced into a lonely solitude that everything went downhill. Looking back on my first chapter, I really am quite a depressing person so I guess a mental apology is required for anyone who knows me or reads this. I'm sorry. It's sad to know that only a few years ago I had Luka and I was happier than ever...

My psychologist explained that adolescence can be one of the hardest parts of our lives if it isn't already. See the first time I saw her I thought that she was pathetic. Trying to understand the likes of me, now... I think differently. I'd hate to admit it out loud but it does help me and I'm slowly getting better, for how long it will last? I've not the slightest clue.

I feel so stupid...I'm aware that in person I am sickeningly cheerful, what many don't understand is that I normally cry myself to sleep or look into the sunlight and see shadows.

As I write I already feel all my emotions being lifted off my chest. I'll get through this stage, I know I will. My inner demons won't win and neither will my external ones.

I want to discuss my bad thoughts with Claude. Every time I see him I find comfort and sadness because I know he hates me but I've learned not to care. I'll talk to him.

~*~

This is bad. Since I talked to him everything has become so much worse. I wish I'd just left it alone and kept my stupid mouth shut. I need someone who understands me... Someone who is like me, the same. The same. Ciel.

-Alois ☆〜