This diary belongs to: A little blonde brat.

~*♪Day Five♪*~

Dear Diary,

Today was bullshit.

Really that's what I should write and just save my pathetic sob story for someone who cares. Anyhow, Claude treats me like some broken little child. I am mentally stabbed every single day by the ones whom I love. I'd love to continue acting like my happy self but it just isn't working out for me and I shan't be part of the sick games society plays.

I often ponder whether life is worth living since I haven't spoken to my dear Ciel in a while now and it plays with my head. I hope there is at least one person left in my world who could try and love a child as broken and pathetic as me, I believe that to be a mere dream. No one has time for me, no one honestly knows of my troubles and I will most likely die alone like a filthy demon. Oh how I despise demons, they all die alone with no one to love them that is, if they even die. Perhaps I should beg Claude to spare me, to prove his negative views on me and for him to turn me into a filthy demon, at least then I will know who I am.

I try to express my pain through many different ways and somehow twist and tear it into happiness but of course I haven't been that successful lately. I sing. I listen to music. I dance. I throw parties. I drink until I am a sad mess on the floor. I cry myself to sleep. I even turn my pain into Hannah's. Nothing works.

I cause trouble and pain to all around me. I upset a little girl today who had recently lost her mother and her home and her world. I caused pain to someone I used to be close with. They hurt themselves because I do. Everything is a mess, I'm a mess.

I'm done.

Farewell.

-Alois