Conceal

30. Reality

It took them another 2 hours to return to the city, but travelling in the backseat with Flame by his side, and with nothing but infinite darkness and blurred shadows outside the window, the trip felt as long as two days.

Just like the wheels on the road, Jooheon's mind seem to be unable to slow down. So many thoughts crowded his head it was impossible to focus on only one for longer than a few minutes. He felt dizzy, and it wasn't only once that he wanted to throw up.

The whole trip was done in silence, which was the reason why his restless mind was able to come up with so many questions and speculations at the first place. Having so many enquires without a single answer was driving Jooheon crazy. He wanted to know what happened to Kihyun. The details. And an explanation. He needed to know. Because if he didn't, he'd rather unbuckle his seatbelt, open the door, and jump out.

And the most infuriating thing was that Jooheon knew how Flame would answer even if he did ask one of his many questions. It was simple: he wouldn't. Flame would keep quiet, because he would want Jooheon to find out everything for himself.

But at the same time, a small part of Jooheon was glad no one said anything. He wasn't sure if he could deal with listening to Flame's voice anymore. More importantly, he knew he wouldn't able to control himself once his mouth opened.

He needed to keep a clear mind for this. At least until he met Kihyun and figure out what the person next to him had done to his friend.

At 2:30am in the morning, Jooheon was dropped off at Wonho's apartment.

"See you later," Flame said, his voice devoid of emotions.

Jooheon ignored him and ran inside the building. He smashed the elevator call button, shocking the security guard — who was dozing off on his chair — awake. Trying to calm himself, Jooheon gave the guard a cursory nod as an apology, and as an indication that he wasn't a suspicious person intruding private property.

Usually Jooheon liked the amazing view he got in Wonho's apartment, which was at the top level of the building. But at that moment, he couldn't hate more that he was forced to wait painstakingly for the elevator to travel all the way up the top, just because it was simply impractical to climb the stairs.

When he finally arrived, he was surprised to find the door unlocked. He was so desperate and anxious that he had forgotten to knock or press the doorbell. Instead, he reached for the handle, leaned forward, and entered the apartment.

"Hyung?" Jooheon said quietly, locking the door behind him. He could see, past the living room and at the end of the hallway, a sliver of yellow light from under a door. But there was no answer.

He hadn't yet thought of an explanation for his sudden disappearance and his even more abrupt appearance, but Jooheon took off his shoes and walked slowly towards the room.

The door was opened just enough for Jooheon to spot Wonho, sitting on his bed with red swollen eyes. He didn't seem to notice Jooheon's presence, but wasn't surprised when Jooheon opened the door completely and stepped in.

Wonho's back was still moving up and down in an irregular rhythm, and he folded himself inwards, as if trying to curl up and disappear. With that posture, he looked smaller than Jooheon. Jooheon wiped his moistened eyes and inched forward. He had to be the strong one, it was only fair.

But before Jooheon could do anything to comfort his friend, Wonho said, in choked breaths, "What's the...point of warning Kihyun if...if he wasn't even awake when it...when it happened?"

Jooheon started forward again. He wanted to sit down next to Wonho and hug him, because that was everything he could do other than telling him why he disappeared and what he was hiding. But Jooheon had only taken one step when Wonho held up a hand to stop him.

A stab of pain shot through Jooheon's heart, but he knew he deserved it. In fact, he deserved much more than just this. For everything he had done, for everything he was — or rather, he wasn't — doing, and for everything he was going to do.

Wonho turned on his phone and shoved it towards Jooheon.

Jooheon reached out a hand out tentatively. Before he could read the words on it, Wonho started talking. His voice was hoarse, but he didn't stutter anymore.

"I know why you came here." Wonho was looking to his left, at his desk. "So read it and leave. I don't want to talk to anyone right now." His voice was emotionless, but it sounded ruthlessly cold to Jooheon.

Despite Wonho's assertion, Jooheon felt like he needed to say something. But all the words he could think of was blocked by the lump in his throat, and instead of being pushed back down to his stomach, the useless words stuck to each other and formed an even bigger lump. The discomfort led Jooheon to believe that there was nothing suitable to say after all, and everything he said would only turn to a jumbled mess which would eventually fade into silent tears.

So Jooheon lifted Wonho's phone, still warm from Wonho's hard grip, and read the article. He almost cried when he realised his head was spinning so bad he couldn't even read the first sentence properly. Nothing was going well for him. Everything was turning out the worse way possible.

The only things Jooheon managed to make out in the whole article are the words "robbery" and "possession of drugs". Everything else, he got the general idea and that was more than enough.

There was also one thing that caught his eye, but he'd rather not think about it.

It didn't matter what he thought though, because the words were rubbed straight at his face. His eyes hurt as if they were beacons shone right at him.

DC Chae Hyungwon, the detective in charge...

Reality finally came crashing down on him.

Flame lied to him about the time and place. He should've known, but he didn't. He didn't even think of suspecting the leader of possibly the dangerous gang in the country. The fact that he failed to protect his friend exacerbated the situation.

But the worse thing was that he could've prevented all of this easily. He didn't even need anything. He just needed to talk. But he didn't. He thought he knew what he was doing, but in reality nothing he did would make sense to him if he'd just think about it.

It was undeniable now. Jooheon was just a coward who concealed the truth because he was afraid of losing his friends.

"Are you ok?" Wonho's voice snapped Jooheon out of his own world. He realised he had lost balance and was leaning against the wall, and a genuinely concerned Wonho was looking at him.

"Yea, I'm ok." Jooheon said. Saying it out loud made it true. Kihyun was the one who wasn't okay. Jooheon returned the phone and stood up. "I should leave now."

Wonho nodded and gave an almost imperceptible smile. His round eyes were full of worry and concern. Maybe he felt sorry for kicking his friend out. But Jooheon didn't care. He had another objective now.

Outside, Jooheon felt the cold wind against his face. It seemed to clear the clutter out of his mind. He remembered clearly what he wanted to say to Minhyuk through his letter, and what Jongho told him a few hours ago.

He wasn't a coward. He might be right now, but he wouldn't be anymore, in a few days. He was doubtful once, about his decisions. But he wasn't now. There was no time to hesitate.

He wouldn't be the good person nor the bad person. He would simply do the best he could and finally end it all by saying the truth. It took him a while to finally make what he thought was the best decision, but late was better than never.

So first, he had to clear Kihyun's name.