One More Chance (16+) (Teukchul)

Dear Heechul

Leeteuk's POV 

Dear Heechul, 

It's been a year. A year since you left this world. I honestly don't blame you, because this place is a complete and utter shithole. Honestly, I wish that I would have been more selfish. I wish there would have been a way to keep you here with me. I wanna tell you how sorry I am Heechul. I'm sorry for not being there for you, especially when you needed me most. I have many regrets in my life, and the way things ended between us was one of them. I still remember all the time we spent together. It all comes back in flashes, and each one burns my heart with guilt. It makes me sleepless, I hardly eat, and it hurts to breathe. Life without you has been anything, but a piece of cake. I honestly feel as though I didn't deserve to meet you. You are a one in a million, and I know that I'll never find someone who will be as near, and dear to my heart like you were. There is something I've always wanted to tell you. 

I then dropped the pin as a teardrop fell onto the page. I've never been good with admitting my feelings, and even now its hard for me to write them in a letter. Even though Heechul will never get this letter I feel the need to write it. Ever since he committed suicide I've lost my way in the world. My whole world was flipped upside down by 3 words. 3 words that I could never say to him, and now 3 different words haunt me. They cause me grief, and I can't get it out of my head. It seems like it was just yesterday, when my hell began. 

(1 year ago)

I was sitting in my living room scrolling through my contacts. A few hours ago Heechul and I got into a fight, but it was more of an argument. I was trying to help him cope with losing his sisters, but he got angry with me. I know his sisters were, and still are, everything to him, but its been 2 months. He's not eating, he sleeps all the time, and he never goes outside. I finally told him how worried I was, and once again he got mad at me. I then told him he needed to move on, but he screamed at me. He said I didn't know what it was like to lose the ones who mean the world to me. He's right, but I argued anyway. I've been texting and calling him ever since, and he won't pick up the phone. I then heard a knock at the door, and it made my heart race. I thought it was Heechul coming over to talk things out, but when I opened the door I was face to face with two detectives.

"Can I help you?" I asked in a confused tone. 

"Park Jungsu?" One asked.

"Yes?" 

"Heechul is gone." I then blinked because I didn't understand what he had just said. 

"Excuse me?" 

"Your friend, Kim Heechul, he committed suicide, and he left you a note." He said as he handed me an envelope. "I'm so sorry." He said before they both walked away. I still couldn't process what was happening. I then closed the door, and turned around as I pressed my back against the door. I then slid down, and sat with my back against the door. I sat there for hours in shock, and I couldn't move. 

I then sighed as I picked my pen back up. I waited too long, and I lost him because of it. I haven't opened the letter, even after a year. I'm afraid of what I'll find. I then took a deep breathe, and I wrote my final words down. 

I love you, Kim Heechul.

Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed this! Leave me a comment to let me know how I am doing! Stay strong my beautiful readers, keep dreaming, I love you all, and I will update soon.-Coolcat51