I will kill you first - Hanazo (mlbb)

Part 20

I decided that I want to go to bed early since I wanted to go to the town tomorrow.... But I couldn't go to the nearest town because of the last visit with Hanabi, so walking to another one would take longer. I was ready to go to bed when I heard the knock on the door and another one and Hanabi's voice.

"Hey, you awake?" I opened the door an expected her to have another question, but she grabbed my hand and dragged me toward the other door and then outside. I was already confused and a little concerned. Then she pointed at the sky and before I even looked I heard the nose. I looked up and there they were. Fireworks. I kind of forgot that there was a festival during this time of the year... I looked at Hanabi wanting to ask her if some fireworks were that interesting so she had to drag me out of the house, but she was having such sweet expression on her face... and I never said anything. She sat on the stairs and I sat next to her. I knew this place wasn't the best for sightseeing... but walking to the near hill will take way too long and the fireworks will end anyways.

My eyes drifted towards the moon. Full moon... she once mentioned that she was fighting with that Shadow during full moons. I was wondering if she was thinking about that as well... but when I looked at her she was just staring at the fireworks with a little smile on.

"Pretty!" she said. "I like fireworks." she murmured still looking at the sky. There were no more fireworks but she was still waiting to see more.

"Yeah...I think I like fireworks too..." she looked at me and I looked away.

"Oh, I am sorry! I literally dragged you out but I thought... you might...want to see..." I stood up on my feet she was still looking at me. She was way more comfortable around me and it was obvious. I am not sure If she notices it though... But I guess the same applies to me as well in a way. She tried to apologise again.

"It's fine." I told her and she nodded. "I don't think there will be more." I told her and she smiled a little.

"I guess you are right." She made a little pause "But I like the weather...so I might stay for a little longer. You can go to sleep." I sighed.

"Do you want company?" she looked at me with a daring smile.

"Hmm do you want to keep me company?" she raised one eyebrow and laughed a second later. "You can stay if you want to." And I found myself sat on the stairs again. I guess going to the town might wait... Hanabi was talking about some of the constellations and pointing at them. I knew some...never heard of others. Asked her about some other stars and then we ended up just making some new. She was tired and I could see it, but she was too stubborn and said she wanted to stay longer. Then we talked about the village again... and she mentioned briefly the Shadow again.

"I guess I miss fighting with him." She murmured... too tired to talk properly. "But...it's been so long since I fought with him. But it's fine now. You are always keeping me company... I am not alone anymore." I beath in... I was not sure what to say. How to answer. When I looked at her she was already sleeping. Her head was resting on the fence of the stairs.

I knew she was a heavy sleeper and I knew she was tired...so waking her up was close to impossible. I opened the door, picked her up, left her on her blankets and closed the door. Some days I was wondering how she can do this...sleep so peacefully. I was not sure If I would've been able to sleep if I were in her position.

But here she was...sleeping like a baby.

***

Once again I was inside when I woke up. It turns out he will not leave me out. This was surprising me at first but at this point, it was more like a fact than anything else. It took me a while to realize he was not in the house. I was waiting for him to wake up but the door never opened even after hours. At first, I didn't want to knock...I guess he could just be tired, but later on, the curiosity just got the best of me and I went to the door and knocked calling him. He never answered.

And I was sure the door would be locked but It wasn't... and as much as I was telling myself that I am not allowed there I walked in. The room was just as I remembered it. Small and not that clean, with a lot of weapons and nothing else much. There were no pictures or anything that would make the room more... personal. It was just a basic room but he didn't want me to walk in. I felt curious so I opened one of the drawers. Empty. And the other one...and another empty one. They were all empty. The giant sword was left in the room as well. I walked toward it but it just felt like it had this evil aura... so I left it there not daring to touch it. It was wrong... I should not go there. Not because he forbid me to... this was his room and his space... my curiosity could go to hell. So I walked out of the room and went outside.

He came back a few hours later. I was surprised. I once mentioned that I like blueberry juice and he left a bottle on the table. I mean... I was not sure if it was because I've mentioned it...or just because he likes it as well... and I was not sure if I wanted to ask. We trained again and I had to be honest...I really liked training with him. Spending time with him. Something about him was just making me feel good. He was trying to explain all the things that I was doing wrong and giving me tips on how to improve, something he was not doing in the beginning at all. He was just not a stranger anymore and this was scary... I was not sure if I could even kill him. Not just because of my abilities... but because I was not sure if I wanted to. But telling him this...was even scarier. What If he laughed and called me weak? What If he thought that I was just loosing his time and decides to kill me...

He poured me a glass of the juice and sat in the chair in front of me. He never asked if I wanted something to drink or not. We were having dinner in silence...

"What's wrong?" he asked and I looked at him biting my lip. No...I couldn't tell him... But he was looking at me like he was expecting an answer. Like he knew something was wrong. "You are silent...You are always silent when something's not right." His beautiful eyes were looking right through me... like he was starring in my soul and I looked away. "Hanabi... I think it's already obvious that you can not hide anything from me even if you try."

"I...kind of...I... think..." I looked at him. I couldn't. I can't... "I kind of snooped in your room when you were gone." He blinked once then again. I could see he was surprised but he...was not as mad as I thought. "I am sorry...I really am... and..."

"You found anything interesting?" he asked and I felt terrible. I guess the calmness in his voice was making everything worse for me...

"I...am sorry... I guess it was just because this is the only place I am not allowed in...and I was just curious... and... I am sorry." He pushed his chair back, stood up on his feet and grabbed my hand.

"Okay come." He dragged me through the room and we walked through the door. I was feeling my heart racing. I guess I was wrong. He was mad... just as mad as I thought he would be. "Now take a look. If you wanted to look around that much." He sat on his bed and I was standing in the middle of the room.

"I...am sorry." He looked at me again.

"About what? Telling me? Walking here? Sorry about what Hanabi?" he was using my name way too much...I was not used to it...hearing it from him.

"I told you...that I snooped in without permission." I made a little pause "I...was just too curious." He was looking at me for way too long. I guessed I would not get my answer but then he sighed.

"I didn't want you here because you are already everywhere else.  Around the house and outside..." I blinked. "There's nothing here that you shouldn't see or something like this.... It's not that." I opened my mouth but was not sure what to say...and it looks like he was not expecting an answer as well.

***

She looked surprised when I looked at her again. I was not mad anymore...not at her...I was mad at myself. When did I become so pathetic? I wanted to have at least one place in the house that would not remind me of her when she is gone... this would just remind me of how lonely I really was...and how lonely I would be once she is gone... When she is no longer here...

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