I will kill you first - Hanazo (mlbb)

Part 28

I was surprised when I saw her that night making up her own bed.

"You want to sleep here?" I asked. The feeling was weird. I knew it. Knew it all this time. I would screw things up and make her upset. I shouldn't have done any of this. She looked at me with the same surprised expression I probably had on my face.

"You...want me to sleep in the bedroom?" she asked and for a second I realized how this sounded. How she might think it sounds. Like all I wanted from her was sex. And I guessed it would be hurtful for her.... For someone that thought they were in love.

In the end, she slept next to me. But was trying to keep her distance. And I was doing the same. It was unbelievable how close we were a few hours back. The next morning I left her sleep and went to the town. Bought food and some other things and went back home.

The moment when I realized she wasn't there I felt strange but decided that she was probably back at the river. So I went there. And she was nowhere to be found. I waited for her more in the house and after it became dark it became obvious to me that she left. I felt bad. Because it was my fault. Maybe I should've said everything differently. Maybe I should've lied to her and told her that I believe her...that I believed someone can love someone like me.

When I heard the noise I grabbed the sword and walked silently closer to the door. Hanabi jumped back when she noticed the blade and looked at me with a shocked expression.

"Are you trying to kill me again? What the hell is happening?" she asked and I could see her chest rising and falling fast. I think I scared her.

"I thought you left..." I said and she looked even more surprised. Seconds later her expression became softer and she smiled.

"Why would I?" she asked. I left the sword. "I just thought I want to walk around...and got a little carried away." She explained. She asked abоout my day in the town and it was... way too normal. It kind of reminded me of the really old days, when I was still a child. The same type of conversations. My child's brain was not understanding why would someone talk about their boring day and bother the others around. But now I talked and it felt good to talk with her. She was listening, nodding or saying something to keep me talking, while I was sipping the dinner in the plates. She carried them to the table.

She looked at the bag with the thing I've bought and then went through the things. I was looking at her the whole time. She was silent for a second when she found one of the things that was not food.
After the little "oh" that went out of her mouth, I decided to start talking.

"I decided getting it was a good idea.... If we end up... sleeping together again. Making you pregnant is not... a good idea and I hope you understand." She looked at me shooked her head and waved her hands panicky.

"No, no! You got it wrong! The "oh" was not disappointed "oh"! I... think the same. And It's great that you thought about it. I was just...surprised... I was thinking about contraception myself and was wondering how to bring it up...  and i also thought you wouldn't want to... um.. with me..."

"Just like that." I said. "It doesn't matter if we talk about sex or everyday life. You want to talk about something? Then talk about it. You don't like something? Say you dint like it. You like something? Say you do. " she smiled charmingly.

"I think you should listen to your own advise." She said. Her eyes were sparkling in blue. I've never seen the ocean or the see but I guessed the colour was the same, deep and tempting. "I think you are never saying what you really think...or at least you do it rarely." She walked closer to me and kissed me softly on the lips. "Now fuck me again. I want to try again until all I feel is pleasure." Her words. I've never thought I would hear her say something like this. But I liked it. I chuckled and kissed her again.

***

I think we were both getting more and more comfortable with each other. I was lying in his arms and he was playing with my hair while I was listening to the beating of his heart. So calming.