all those broken promises | shyland

Chapter Eighteen

Blood spewed from Garrett's nose and splattered onto Shane's skin before Ryland could turn around to ask if the shaggy-headed boy was telling the truth. Shane's drink tumbled from his hands onto the concrete and the liquid soaked through their shoes as he grabbed Garrett by the collar of his shirt and punched him again and again and again until Ryland realized he wasn't going to stop. Ryland grabbed Shane by his elbow and spun him around, no longer recognizing his boyfriend's dark eyes and blood-soaked face, and suddenly he knew Garrett was telling the truth.

His stomach churned with the contents of liquor and his brain churned with the contents of lies he had been believing. Shane reached for him but he took a step back, unwilling to give the auburn-headed boy anymore parts of him until he knew the truth. Garrett steadied himself against the potted plant behind him and Andrew rubbed his back as blood dripped from his red-stained mouth. Everyone around them seemed too drunk to care and Ryland wished he had downed an entire bottle of vodka so he wouldn't remember living his life in this moment.

Shane hung his head. "Ry—"

He dug his fingernails into the palm of his hand and tried to ignore the ringing in his ears that made him feel like he was going to pass out. It seemed almost ironic when he thought about it. Garrett was the one sporting a busted lip and a broken nose and Shane was the one dripping blood from the cracks of his fingers but he was the one with the shattered heart.

"Garrett's telling the truth."

"No!" Shane shook his head. "I mean, yes—but it's not what it sounds like. Ryland, it's not—I love you more than anything." Ryland scoffed and Shane reached for his hands. "I know you're angry, but you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You have to believe me. I was an asshole when I made that stupid bet with Garrett but then we started hanging out and I realized you were so much different than everybody else and—"

"You—you listened to me talk about how I was afraid to fall in love again after Mike and you still—you chose to make me a pawn in your game?"

Shane held his breath. "It's not like that anymore."

"I—" Ryland ripped his hands away from Shane's grip and wiped his cheeks. "I—You let me fall in love with you while you were planning to—Oh my God. You let my sister tell her friends about how you're a hero and you saved us and all this shit and I—I believed her when she told me you were different than everyone else and I believed you."

Shane reached for his hands again and held them firmly in his grasp so Ryland would be forced to listen to Shane's lies. "Please. If you love me, you'll listen to me. I called everything off when I realized you were the person I wanted to be with." He released one of Ryland's hands and stroked his thumb down the blue-eyed boy's cheek. "And—you are definitely the person I want to be with."

"Tell me you love me."

He answered without a doubt. "I love you."

"I—" Ryland leaned his forehead against Shane's and for a moment it seemed like everything was going to be okay but he couldn't shake the moments in his head that felt like lies and knowing he had been the target of a game Shane had agreed to play only weeks before. "It—It's not enough."

"Ryland—"

"I—I think I'm going to leave."

"I'll come with you."

Ryland shook his head. "I'm going alone."

As his hands fell from Shane's and he turned to leave out the back gate, Shane's fists clenched at his sides and he turned around to face Garrett. Andrew stepped in-between them and locked eyes with Shane as he silently whispered words of you should have told him and Shane silently screamed yeah, well your boyfriend should have kept his fucking mouth shut back. Garrett, a mess of intoxication and blood and madness stuck inside his own mind, wiped the back of his hand across his mouth and narrowed his eyes at his used-to-be best friend.