Peppermint And Gunpowder

Chapter Forty-Two: I Want You To Live, My Love

"We'll enter through the main doors," Poison points to a blurb on the map.

"So we're not going stealth mode?" I ask. I sit cross legged on one end of the sofa while Poison sits across and talks me through the plan of attack for the fifth time.

"We're just going full ambush, catch 'em off guard." Poison smiles.

Strands of hair fall from the ribbon in a low ponytail at the base of Poison's neck, framing his tanned face in a light glow of bright dye and reflection from the setting sun. He'd given up on fiddling with it and trying to keep it from falling into his face and settled with pulling it back.

"Is there more of a risk this way?" I watch his face fall slack.

"There would be a risk either way, neither is foolproof. Everything we do has risks but these are risks we have to take." He nibbles on his lower lip as he's speaking, pausing every other word to give more thought.

"Is there a plan if something goes wrong?" He sinks into great thought again.

"No, just try and continue the plan as written. We try and limit the casualties as greatly as we can. No one should be alone, everyone should be watching each others' backs." He sighs heavily. "But if something goes wrong... it could be the end."

He looks up at me and grasps my hand tightly, ignoring the papers between us. He breathes deeply and has a wild look dancing across his face, the spark inside his eyes alight to a raging fire.

"But, Mercury, if something does happen, I want you to get out. I want you to escape and protect yourself. If something happens to me, I want you to run and not look back. I want you to escape and live, my love."

My love. I've never heard him speak in the tone he takes now, I've never seen him so fearful, I've never seen the fire burn so brightly.

"I won't abandon the fight if I am still breathing." I say. "I will not leave if I can save one of us, or you, or the revolution. I won't escape like a coward."

"You wouldn't be a coward, Mercury. You're brave and strong, but do you know who needs you more than I do? Gracie. She needs you more than anyone, more than the revolution itself. You are like her mother. No, you're not like her mother, you are her mother. What would she do if you were gone?" He looks over his shoulder at the bedding areas where Gracie had fallen asleep playing with Kitty and Dottie, her daily nap that she refuses to admit she needs.

"But how can I just sit back and watch you die knowing I could have saved you? And then what, be branded as the coward who let the Fabulous Four just die?" I watch his expression change over the progression of my statement.

My death toll is high enough as it is I couldn't bear to see any of the Four's blood dripping from my hands. Why must I add to the list of people's lives I have ended? Why must those people be the people I love more than anything, the people I would give my life for?

"You wouldn't leave as a coward, Mercury, you'd leave to plan a new attack. You'd leave to make sure the people who died didn't die in vain. You would leave so the revolution lives another day and add to the list of people who died so it can thrive." He smiles despite the tears welling in his eyes.

"The only thing would be that you would have to wait another day to watch that damned city burn." I laugh despite the tense emotion building in my throat, though that was a statement that should not have been laughed at.

"Don't you see?" He reaches up and tucks a loose strang of hair behind my ear. "If we all die tomorrow night, the revolution dies with us. And who would be here to take care of Gracie?"

I look past him and over to the bedding where Gracie's sheets began to shuffle. I stand up and walk over to Gracie and see her open her sleepy brown eyes. She smiles and rubs her eyes, Kitty falling limply across her arm.

"Are you still sleepy?" I ask. She nods her head and yawns. "Why don't you go back to sleep for a while? I promise we'll all be quiet."

"I want to be with you." She mumbles, her words slurring together. "Will you lay with me?"

"Why don't we go sit over on the sofa with Poison? I can hold you in my lap and you can go right back to sleep, sound good?" I ask and she nods, holding her arms out and wiggling her fingers.

I laugh softly, pick her up, and cradle her on my hip. She lays her head on my shoulder and closes her eyes. One hand clutches Kitty and her thumb is wedged between her two front teeth.

With Gracie on my hip I make my way back over to the sofa where Poison watched the whole ordeal. Probably didn't hear a thing we said, but the expressions convey words well enough.

"She's sucking her thumb again." Poison looks at Gracie's sleeping figure and thumb partially dangling from her mouth.

"I know, why does she do it?" I brush curls out of her round face and settle her on my lap. She breathes softly and evenly, surely dreaming of something sweet.

"She did it all the time when she was a baby, even when she wasn't sleeping. She always had her hand in her mouth. She started doing it again right after you were brought back home." Poison watches Gracie with a soft smile.

I hold her close watch her little shoulders rise and fall with every breath and as her thumb dangles out of her mouth. I rest my head atop hers and realize how right Poison is.

What would she do if I was gone? What would she do if one or all of the boys were gone? It would break her. She's so little, so fragile, that the slightest thing could destroy her.

I can't imagine what would happen if she had to bury me, Poison, Jet, Kobra, or Ghoul. How would we tell her that one of the boys won't be coming home? How would we explain why we wrap them in a white sheet and bury them in the ground? She's smart enough to know they aren't just sleeping.

I pray every night that Gracie never has to go through what I did, that she never has to have someone tell her that her mother isn't coming home. I am her mother, not biologically but the only mother she has. Who would tell her that I was dead?

Would Poison sit down with her and tell her slowly? Would he tell her that I am merely sleeping but I won't ever wake up again?

Would Jet soothe her wails by holding her the way I'm holding now?

Would Ghoul try to make her laugh by doing something foolish or saying on of his famous jokes that aren't even funny?

Would Kobra just sit with her and hold her tight?

Who would tell her that everything will be alright? Who will hold her when the night terrors strike and she wakes and does nothing but weep and scream?

Who would have the guts to tell her that she has bury her family?