The Dark and Wonderful mind of a Emotionally Troubled Soul

Wondering

I sit here wondering why, why do I feel this way and think these things day in and day out, why do I feel like everything I'm told is a lie and allow it to fill me with doubt? My heart is pumping and Thumping as I'm slowly losing control of myself, slowly going insane as I take these pills trying to get rid of all this doubt. I struggle so bad every damn day trying to get by and live my life but then it hits me so hard I just want to cry cause I'm sad but can't, I get so angry and frustrated cause all of these emotions flooding inside of me all at once so I just spend most my time laying in my bed all day and night. I lay here wondering why can't I just be ok and not be so angry and sad cause I can't control my mind or emotions I'm at a point of being beyond a lost soul with no purpose in life. I'm just trying to regain what is mine and be done with all these bad notions of sadness, guilt that plagues me every single night. As hard as I try with all of my might I end up the same way every damn day wondering why do I even try it just causes more pain deep on the inside of my mind and heart.