The Russian Next Door

CHAPTER 26 - 20 questions

The same day, around seven or so, I am bored out of my mind. As my mission is complete, I don't see the point of running in the evening. So I think about watching the stars. In my mind comes the roof. The last time I was there, I didn't feel like admiring too much. So I go to Dimitri and ask him if he could let me go there. He hands me a set of his spare keys.

'You are free to join if you want.' I told him as I head outside.

DPOV:

I told her that I didn't know if I could make it. I had some paperwork to deal with. I shouldn't go. It isn't fair towards her to give her false hope. I know what she said to me that night when she was drunk. But I shouldn't reciprocate her feelings. I can't. Or should I? This is wrong. But there is something that is pulling me towards her. She is just like the sun, making you gravitate around her. And I just can't help it.

Before I go outside, I make two cups of cocoa. When I open the roof door, her head turns my way and her face lights up.

'You made hot chocolate.'

I take a seat and hand her a cup. She smells it and takes a sip. 'It is delicious. Thank you.' and gives me a big smile.

'Hey, do you want to play a game? I used to play it with Lissa, my best friend back home. It's called 20 questions. Are you in?'

'Fine.'

'I go first. Why is a divorce so expensive?'

'I don't know.'

'Because it's worth it.' she says and bursts into laughter.

'Is this how the game is supposed to go? Asking silly questions? Aren't you just wasting questions?'

'Yup. You can ask any question you want, and take it as personal as you like. And you just ask randomly, when a question pops into your head, until you finish all your twenty. And the other person has to respond, that's mandatory. And you have to be honest. Pretend you are drunk, it is easier that way, trust me. And about wasting questions, you just threw out the window three of them. Okay, now I am going to be serious. My second question is: Why did they put Minnie Mouse into the nut house?'

I smile. If she is going to go on with questions like this...'I don't know.'

'Because she was fucking Goofy. Do you get it?' At that I scowl, but I want to laugh.

'Language, Rose.' I hated when such dirty words got out of her beautiful mouth.

'Oh, you are no fun. Fine, I promise I will behave. Scout's honor.'

'You have been a Scouts Girl?'

'Nah, too much hassle. And I never really liked those girls. Too much drama. My turn now. Where do you come from?'

'Baia. It's a town about 7 hours away if you take the car.'

'Why didn't you go back home after you quit? Why did you quit? You didn't want to tell me last time I asked. Now you have to.' she said, proud of herself.

'I didn't want to bother them. I wanted to make a living on my own. And I'm still not telling you.'

'That's not fair.' she stood there for a second, considering things. 'Do you love your family?'

'Yes. I would do anything for them.' And for you. I would do anything for you too.

'You don't have to answer this if you don't feel like it. But I saw a photo in your room the other day. With your family. You all look the same, so beautiful. But I didn't see your father. Is he, you know, dead?'

'No, he's not dead. He left.'

'Why?'

'Because he used to like to hit my mother. And as I grew up, I liked to hit him.'

'Recently?'

'No. When I was 13.'

'Are you kidding me, right?'

'No.'

'I'm sorry for that.'

'Don't be. He deserved it.'

'Yeah, maybe. But he is still your father. I may not have a great relationship with my mother, but I still care for her.' She seemed sad while talking about her mother. Then she changed the subject.

'Why aren't you asking me anything? Come on, shoot. Say something.'

'How it comes that you have no plant in your apartment?'

'What kind of question is this?'

'It's my question. I have seen that you study Botany. I thought you liked plants. But you don't own any.'

'So observant, comrade. You are right, I don't. I used to though. But they all died. And I gave up on trying. It all began with Pablo.'

'Who is Pablo?'

'Was. Pablo was my cactus.'

'You named your cactus?'

'I was only six. And managed to kill a cactus, that one plant needs the least care you have to give. Funny, right? Then I had Alejandro, a basil plant at twelve. And my last victim was Manuel, another cactus at 15. I am a plant killer.' At that I really laughed.

'You don't do that too often, you know?' No, I didn't. But lately she was the only one who could make me smile.

'What is your favorite color? What color makes your heart light up when you see it, Dimitri? Mine is green. It is always reminding me of life and nature.'

The color of your beautiful eyes. They look like someone poured pure gold into a sea of chocolate. I could look into your eyes for the rest of my life. But to her, I said: 'I believe every color has the power to light up someone's heart at some point.'

'Bullshit. You know what? You never really tell me things about you. You always give me short answers and with no substance. You tell me something but in fact you are telling me nothing at all. I asked you where you are from. You told me Baia. Yeah, it's a city, but you didn't really tell me something about it, you get it? About why you quit, okay, maybe I took it too far. I asked you about your family. And all you gave me were responses without essence. You didn't actually tell me something about your family. Except the part about your father. I don't really know a lot of things about you. Why are you keeping away from me? In fact you seem to keep away from anybody. Isn't it hard? Why aren't you letting people in?' Because I am afraid that I will lose them, that's why. It is easier that way. 'And then you come and do so many kind things for me. You are so good to people, why don't you let other people be good with you?'

She exhales deeply and rises. 'I am going to ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me, because this is not about you it is about me. I am really nervous about this. Oh, God. I am ashamed to ask you this.' She starts to pass her hand through her hair and her movements mesmerize me. She is so beautiful. No makeup or anything needed. She is splendid and she isn't aware of it. What if I would let her in?

'Rose, say it.'

She takes a deep breath and avoids eye contact. 'You know, the night when I got drunk, I, I can't...Oh God. Okay. I am just going to say it. Did we have sex that night? I need to know because I woke up with your T-shirt on and in your bed, and that thing with that guy happened (her thinking that he was me in fact?) and everything that I don't remember after getting into Ivan's car (so she doesn't remember telling me all those things).'

'No Rose, we didn't do anything. It's not in my nature to take advantage of women. Do you think I could that to you?' But only God knows how much I want you right now.

She sighed relieved. 'No, I don't think that. I should have known you better.' She laughs. 'You and your cowboy moral code.'

I can't help it anymore. I raise and I ask her: 'You know what that moral code says next?' She shakes her head no. 'Always pay your debts.'

I get closer to her, put my hands on her cheeks and pull her closer, and closer, until our lips meet.