The Russian Next Door

CHAPTER 50 - Back to me

They decided to keep Dimitri sedated for five days, just to be sure that the stitches won't rip when he would start to move. He has passed successfully over the first day, and the only thing in order was to wait for him to wake up. Oksana would come by and tell me if anything changed. But things were usually the same. He kept on drifting between consciousness and sleeping. 

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I spend the first three days with Olena and Viktoria, but they had to go back, because Viktoria had some summer courses she had to attend and Olena had a family to take care of. I promised I would call every day and announce if anything changed. They were all going to come back when Dimitri would wake up.

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One time, on my fourth day of guarding the hallway, Oksana came to me and told me that while he was awake, Dimitri kept on saying ''Roza''.

'I thought he might be referring to you. So I told him that you were fine and waiting for him to get better.' she laughed lightly. 'The two of you are something, you know? The love you have for each other is so obvious. I hope that you will get over this and everything would get to be alright.' she said patting my hand.

She was so nice to me. She would often come by and ask me how I was feeling, would bring me some snacks from the cafeteria and would spend some of her breaks keeping me company. Somehow, we developed a bond. She was reminding me of the mother I used to have, just like Olena. In this hospital, this woman was our guardian angel.

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My nights were all the same. Oksana would come to me around eight and would sneak me inside his room. I would take my usual place on a chair, take his hand into mines and hold it. I would talk to him for hours, tell him all kind of stories from when I was a kid, jokes, I would tell him what I have spoken with his family earlier that day, I would tell him what I hoped the future would bring to us, and when I would feel that I couldn't keep my eyes open, I would kiss his forehead, I would tell him that I forgave him, that I was sorry for not listening to him earlier, sorry for not being able to stop Tasha, but mostly I would tell him how much I loved him and how much I waited for the moment when he would wake up and come back to me. Then, I would lay at the edge of the bed next to him and go to sleep.

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On the fifth day, the doctor administrated the last dose of sedatives and they were expecting him to gain consciousness the next morning. After that, they would do some tests or something and would keep him into a normal room for another week or so. That meant that this was my last day of sneaking around.

I did my nightly ritual, telling Dimitri lastly that I dreamed the previous night that we were married. After this, I fell asleep next to him.

I woke up as Oksana was stroking my hair to make me wake up. I raised my head but the room was still dark and Oksana was nowhere to be found. Did I dream that? I looked at Dimitri, expecting to find him still asleep. But his eyes were open.

'You are awake.' I said as I rose up fast. He moaned. 'Oh, God, I am so sorry. Does it hurt you bad? I should go get a nurse or better a doctor to come and see you or they would better give you some pain killers. I am so sorry, Dimitri.' I spoke rapidly.

He put a hand on mine to stop me from speaking and simply shook his head no.

I began to cry. He was finally awake. I took his hand and brought it to my mouth kissing it. 'You are awake.' I sighed. He cupped my cheek and was gently brushing it with his thumb.

'My Roza.' When I heard him say that, the crying stopped. A wave of relief flooded my body.

'I am so sorry.' Dimitri said.

'No, no, don't be. It's alright, I understood everything. And I forgave you a long time ago. It doesn't matter anymore. Everything that matters is that you are here with me now. Nothing else.'

'I am sorry for not being there to protect you, Roza. When I got that call from Tasha the only thing I could think about was losing you. And I couldn't. I don't think I'll be able to live without you.'

'Listen to me. None of the things that happened that day is your fault. Not ever. You get me? And I am fine, thanks to you. Because you made her shoot you instead. That woman is not in the right place, mentally speaking and there is nothing we could have done more about this. And I don't want you to blame yourself anymore. Let's just forget about all of this and focus on you getting better. No more talking about the past, okay?' he didn't respond immediately. 'Comrade, will you, please? Just let's get over this and let the police do its job and everything.' he finally nodded. 'Perfect. Now get some more rest, please. The doctor will come and check on you in the morning. Don't force yourself too much, okay?'

I lay back and he starts stroking my hair again. 'I love you so much' I said lastly and we simply stood there, not speaking for the rest of the night.

Finally, things were alright. Finally, he was awake. Finally, he came back to me. And I would never let him leave again.