Love, Elliot

Part. / 3

Before reading this chapter, I would like to give a huge thank you for whoever is reading this book. It honestly means a lot to me. And i wouldn't have done it if it weren't for my friends. 

Previously on Love, Elliot: he says he might be able to solve my problem.

I hope you reply. I need you.

Love, Elliot.

The next morning, the kitchen was making more noise than usual. Up in my bed, I could feel the bags under my eyes. I could not take my mind off of the fax. Elliot? Is this the same Elliot working that night at Wendy's?

I got up, put on my bathrobe and switched on my reading light once again. I have re-read this letter about five times. I couldn't take my mind off of the fact of what Elliot's been dealing with in his life. Would I relate to it? Suddenly, I saw dad coming in through my door.

'Heyy! What's the matter, darling? Are you okay? You look a bit flustered', he spoke gently.

Quickly shuffling the fax under my book, I looked up at him with teary eyes.

'What's the matter, baby? Are you alright? Why are you crying?'

I could not answer him. I just couldn't. A realization hit me.

My mom's not here anymore. She'll never be here. She's gone. My mother will die over and over again for the rest of my life. Grief is forever. It doesn't go away; it becomes a part of you, step for step, breath for breath. (quote from TSE, jandy nelson :) )

 I blacked out.

I woke up with an ice pack on top of my head. I saw Claudia and Vivian across the room, with dad, talking to a doctor. I remember how dad used to push mom in on little things like this. Grocery shopping, doctor's appointments, organizing bills.

It's like people are there for you, you know they are, but with the blink of an eye, they disappear and fade away.

'Hey, honey! How is my sweetie feeling this morning? Did you have a good night's sleep?', she spoke cheerfully.

'Yes, I'm better now, mommy. I have a bit of a headache though', I said pressing my hand on my head.

Oh, it's alright. The medicine is wearing off. Here', she said putting the blanket on top of me and tucking me in.

'None of my friends called me mommy. Nobody cares if I'm sick or not. Dead or not.'

Shush shush now, don't say that. Your friends love you, sweetie. It's winter break, remember? They might be busy.'

'Hmmm...I guess so.'

Now remember, wake me up if you need anything, she said leaving my room and shutting the lights off.

People care about you darling. They do. You just gotta open up your eyes are little more, and you'll get there. And you shouldn't joke about death. We will always be here for you sweetie, always. Remember what I used to say? If you care too little, you'll lose them. And if you care too much, you'll get hurt.'