The Gemini: Emancipation

12 - Alexandra

October 10, 1996

One step, two step, three step... Plop!

"Oh-oh."

"Uh-oh." Jody repeated after Brie. "You wanna try again?" She asks, fully expecting the one-year-old to agree in her own little way. It's expected because it's all the tiny girl focused on for the past fifteen minutes.

Playtime. That's what this is. Naptime ended an hour ago and as soon as Brie woke up, she was buzzing for adventure. Jody pushed aside the saltiness she felt over being ganked of her own sleep, and catered to the tot.

That salty moment, thinking back on it now, Jody found humor in it. After getting Brie to sleep, she made a couple calls, took care of a few important matters, and got a little snack in her system. Tip-toeing back into Brie's room, she saw the girl still dozed away and took the opportunity to catch a snooze herself.

Nope.

Curled up in the corner's cushy armchair, Jody had nestled under a throw blanket. When she did one last check back at the crib, she'd saw that her plans were shattered. Brie, who'd been knocked out mere seconds before then, stood at the railing. Wide awake and staring at her mother. Waiting.

Looking at the oh-so-familiar stare, "Really?" Jody had sighed, hearing Roger's phantom voice in her ear teasing, sike!

"If you ain't your daddy's child..." She'd told Brie. The girl then had the nerve to bounce happily as if she'd understood.

Jody could say that – yes, even at one – she wouldn't put it past her. Realistically though, she knows that bounce came from her hearing the word "daddy". Everything is "Da-da" with Brie. It was her first word. He's who she lit up for the most. It's him that she's got to see before even going to sleep at night.

It hurts. A lot, it does. But Jody's learning to cope. The book she's reading – a parenting guide referred to her by the pediatrician – told her not to take it personal. That it's only a stage. That no matter what it may look like, her mothering is just as appreciated.

Some days she believed. Other days, she couldn't help but question and feel that any bias is her own fault. It's not that Brie saw one parent more than the other. The nature of the time spent with each is what differed.

Prior to two weeks ago, during mother daughter time, Jody would only be there physically. Though she'd tried, she couldn't muster the conversations, the silly laughs, and goofy giggles that Roger abundantly gave. Of course he would be the favorite. Because of that, Jody entered a short period of feeling envy. After a day or so she corrected herself, realizing that she had to let that go lest it turn her cold again.

She doesn't want to be frigid anymore.

"Up?" Jody asks.

With toddler ease, Brie stands again. Little hands held loosely onto the bar of the toy cart that provided her a backup steady. Jody's hand secured the other side, slowly pulling forward to encourage Brie's steps.

It's moments like these that gives Jody a glimmer of hope, letting her know that everything isn't daddy after all.

Here on the floor, she'd put together a playscape that would usually keep Brie's hyper curiosities happily occupied for hours. Not this go round. She traded her wonder for a little stubborn determination. Walking is the prime goal in her young mind. And even after four times plopping on her butt, Brie isn't giving in. Such will reminded Jody of herself.

"Yay!"

Mother cheerily hyped daughter as she made it past the fourth step. Brie got caught up in the mini celebration, bouncing and laughing along. Her happiness almost caused her to lose footing. She steadied herself just in time and continued to cruise.