The Gemini: Emancipation

11 - Cycle

September 19, 1996

The ticking of an invisible clock thunked in Roger's ears. Head down, Jody's focus is on her hands as if she'd find an answer in them. At this rate, anticipation will be the death of—

"Yes." She finally answers, bringing relief to his borderline annoyance.

"Was the pause necessary?"

"It's because I don't know."

"You just said yes. Which is it?" His expectant stare dulls in intensity at her helpless demeanor. "You're scarred and angry, and all that takes time. That's why we work."

"Is it even worth the trouble? What if it doesn't get better, but worse."

At that he's confused and his face shows it.

"You got another man somewhere I don't know about? An itinerary? A woman?" He's being funny and not in the same.

Jody shook her head then motioned over herself.

"This. Everything's a mess and it isn't only because of my mistakes. I'm not this way because I want to be." she explained.

Here on the floor they sat, still side by side. Looking over at him, Jody's met by his doe eyes trained unwaveringly on her. He's waiting for elaboration. A further detailing that's prodding at her gut.

Slowly carding through her hair, she knows she's stalling again. But these words, the ones that she has to say next, brought a strange sense of agony upon her.

It's the pain of vulnerability. The frustration of defeat.

"I think... No, I'm certain that I...."

"Jody!"

Roger's exclamation wasn't that loud, but it caught her off guard, making her shoulders jump a slight. He had to do it, all of her lulling is driving him nuts. She got the gist.

"I'm depressed."

Dead air. She suspended on it. His brows furrowed.

"That's it?" he questioned.

"What do you mean, that's it? Is there supposed to be more?" Jody offended.

He responded nothing but disappeared in his thoughts. Such lack of reaction made her want to withdraw.

"This is why I never wanted to say anything. I should've kept it to myself."

Shutting his eyes in a long blink, "Stooopp," he dragged out exasperatedly. "Have I said anything?"

"Don't have to, it's on your face. You don't understand—"

"And quit telling me that, I have a mouth. Rest assured if I don't understand something, it's gon' open and you'll be the first to know." he irritated.

"You said it like it's not serious enough." she fired back with as much attitude.

Seeing her shift position brought his reflexes to play.

Taking hold of her wrist, "Stay." He isn't letting her flee this time.

She wasn't going anywhere anyway.

"Talk." He said, "Depressed like what?"

"Postpartum. Sometimes after birth—"

"It's a hormonal imbalance." he summed, gaining a surprised look. "I read every now and then."

"Well, that."

Though he reads, Roger never really took the time to piece two and two together for her diagnosis.