Sad Little Truths

You.

It was you. It was all about you ever since I met you. I was young. I was so young and naive. You took advantage of that. You took advantage of the fact I was young and like any other teenage girl, wanted to feel loved. I was the happiest when everything involved you. The day I met you, I knew something felt different. I knew deep down, that I cared and loved you on a whole different level. In a way, this world would not be able to understand. I'm a way, that young me didn't even comprehend but she knew something was different about you and I loved you. I loved you through all the little lies. I was always curious about you. I'd ask you things, you'd brush them off. Brush them off like they didn't mean a single thing, but if you told me these little truths, everything could've been avoided. The feelings were true in my eyes, all the promises, all the talks we had, everything felt so real. It all felt so perfect. But nothing is perfect in this world. So essentially I knew that something would come crashing down and sure enough, it did. It crashed and it burnt. We had so many "plans", so many "plans" that I imagined, that I felt to be true in my heart. And all of it was ripped away. I was young and naive. I was sitting in testing when I got called down to the sheriffs to talk about you. I was so lost and confused. I felt like it couldn't be right. That this couldn't be happening to me. I was young. I had such strong feelings for you, it was about since day one. My heart was so set on you. I got questioned about you and my heart instantly felt shattered. All those "plans", meaningless. Everything we ever talked about "our future", meaningless. It was all meaningless. You didn't truly feel the same way I did, I know you didn't. There's no way you could've felt the same way with the way I feel now. You shattered my trust,my love, my heart. I feel I personally can't love to my fullest capacity because I gave all my love to you and I didn't receive anything back but empty promises and broken dreams. I can't love because I fear everyone will eventually leave me or they are lying, because of you. Because of you, I tend to stand far away from relationships. I haven't been in a stable relationship, since we were together. Would you call what we had a "relationship"? I loved you to my fullest capacity and made everyday dedicated to you, and you couldn't even tell me the truth. You didn't tell me the truth. You never once told me the truth. But once again, I was young and naive. I never truly understood love, so the way you treated me, I thought that was love. I thought all the secrets,hiding,little small talks was love.