Sad Little Truths

The Beginning

Well, some days are better than others. Like anything but the thought of him still lingers. There's days where I just Want to run to him and vent and cry. There's day I have so many accomplishments i want to tell him. how I got a raise. But there's also the opposite of that. There's day where I feel like I feel like he will never come back and it fucks me up so emotionally I don't talk to anyone, not even family or close friends. I will shut myself out. I will go in my room for weeks at a time and not talk to anyone. There's days i smell his cologne on others and it just makes me want to collapse. Some days I'm on top of the world because maybe just maybe he will come back. But there's days I know he won't come back. That I'm going to have to move on from him. But it's kinda hard to move on from the guy you once desperately loved and planned a future with.

Let me set the picture. It was summer of ninth grade ( going into ninth grade ) and I met this amazing guy. Amazing. He treated me amazing. He was amazing. Only downside to him, was he was far away. But me i was determined into trying to make it work. So we did. We made it work. He'd come down and see me every couple months then go back home. It seems picture perfect right? Me and this guy got so serious we looked at houses, everything. We thought we were meant to be. And I guess I'm another life we are meant to be. Just not this one. This guy I wanted to marry, this guy wanted to marry me. The feeling was mutual we had plans, everything was going to plan. Till tenth grade... tenth grade, FSA English testing in the afternoon. Him and I have been talking for two and a half years dating one and a half years out of that. But testing. I got called out during testing and had to go to the sheriffs office. And well. I've never heard from the guy again. Not since December 19th... still haven't.