Sad Little Truths

First Love

You were my first love. You were the first guy I ever gave my heart to. I pictured my future with you. You were everything I could ever want. Dark eyes,dark hair, uplifting soul, happy soul, I loved you. I was set on you. You made me so unbelievably happy. We planned everything. We planned to see each other every six month because of the distance. We talked everyday. We'd talk about anything and everything. The communication was there. I knew I could rely on you for anything. I knew that if I was upset, I could message you and you'd be there in an instant. We'd paint happy little pictures in our heads of "our future". We'd paint our picture in our minds, in our hearts. We saw the little chapel, we saw the house in Wyoming. I say we, but was it "we?" Or was it just me and you were planting those images in my mind?  Where did we go wrong? Where did I go wrong? When did you decide that I was the one that you were gonna choose? Is it because I was young and you were my first love and you knew I'd believe every word you said? This "love" you gave me was unbreakable, so unbreakable that I wouldn't be able to trust myself enough to date anyone. But now, I'm happy. I can say I'm genuinely happy with life right now. It's been almost 5 years since I've seen your face, since I've smelt your cologne and I can say I'm doing way better without you. I'm loving again. I'm in a relationship with this guy I REALLY love. I'm dating someone who actually cares about me. Yes, your thought still lingers in my head and he knows that. He knows how you hurt me, he knows everything about you. This is the first guy I've been able to trust after you, honestly. I want to thank you for preparing me for the best person and I can love to my full potential. You showed me a false love, he doesn't.