Today in school was so horrible. I've got to school and I left to hang out with my friend called Rose. She's my best friend. It's me, rose, and one more... Valerie. We're like the three musketeers, Three Stooges, you name it. They know everything that has been going on with me and him. They're only 5 people besides me that know about this... Love. It's me, obviously, rose, Valerie, angel, precious, and Iliana. Precious and Iliana are very good friends in which I trust in but we are not ad close as me with Rose and Valerie.
Anyways, (back to the story) I went to sit with my other friends. I noticed that many people were staring, especially guys. I went up to one of they guys who were staring and I said:
Me: Hey, why are all of the guys staring at me?
Boy: Well everyone knows now and I'm telling you just once, you dont got a chance. Hahahaha, silly girl...
Me: What are you talking about? Why am I silly?
Boy: We all know you like William. He texted the whole school. He even told him. Haha
Me: Oh. My. God. Who are you talking about?! I swear, just tell me. And its so not true, Who would say a lie like that?!
Boy: Well obviously one of your only guy friends. The one you trust so much... Yea you got it. It was Angel.
Me: OH IM GOING TO KILL HIM!!!
Oh. My. God. What will I do? I have to leave. I have to go and leave forever. I can't... Not forever. Just long enough for me to calm down. I left running but Rose chased me. I reached my house when I noticed that there were tears covering my face. Just then rose started getting very weird. Its like she knew I need time but at the same time she wanted me to be with her because I knew that I would need help.
Rose: Hey, jazzy, what's wrong? I know what angel did. It was very wrong but still... You don't have to get like this.
That's when I noticed that precious was there too... just watching me with sympathetic eyes. She wanted to talk but I could tell between my river of tears that she was struggling with her own words.
Me: Guys can you just leave me to myself for a little bit please. I need some time to breathe and think. I will have to take a hot hot, nice, shower then I will call you all right. I just need some time please...
Rose: Okay but call me. Precious come on, let's go. If you don't call I will call you or maybe even come so... Yeah, bye, love you.
She hugged me then left. With no one around I felt like I could finally breathe. I could breathe...
After sneaking inside my house through the window I went to my room. I just threw myself on the bed and started crying. I felt so bad, so horrible. I felt so betrayed... I felt that it was as if angel had shot me in the heart. I trusted him and he just... He just to do it. At the window, into the sky, and out beyond the earth. I felt dead. Worse than dead. I felt like if this is all of nightmare and I could just wake up. Wake up into a burning inferno. The heat melting my skin, muscle,, the last of all my heart. My heart which contained my soul. There is barely a heart there. Its in so many pieces that it is worth than a puzzle. You can never put it back together. My soul slowly burning. Burning like the inferno was just trying to get rid of me but not quite. Little by little so that I can feel everything. Keeping me there, burning, forever. Alone is how I will be, just me and my burning soul. That is what angels betrayal mixed with everything else felt like.
Nobody wants to be with me. Not now, not ever. Nobody will only like me. Nobody will feel the warmth of my love full hugs, nobody will feel my kiss in which I let all my love flow. Nobody will ever feel the warmth of my body next to theirs. My heart beating next to theirs as we become one. Nobody will ever feel this because I swear, I swear! I will never let anybody and nobody will know what my kindness is. As long as I'm still learning I will not let anyone close to me. Nobody will know me. I will be a stranger. I'll closed book that if you open it the words will burn your eyes. So faint that you will never be able to read it. I will become invisible... The earth will eat me whole. I won't be here. Only in my own world. The one in which even friends will be strangers. One in which only I exist. Me, Myself, & I...
Thank you for anybody who has read my book so far. I will continue to write this book because I feel that you guys will understand me. I want to help you. And that's why my new book readers will become the fighters.
XOXOXO
Stay beautiful. Stay strong. Love you stars.
