BTS 8TH Member

Body

This chapter is kinda triggering so don't read if you dealt with this or you can't handle it well. This chapter is about an eating disorder so before you wanna try to correct me think about professional ballet dancers the weigh worst than that.

I was in the gym on the treadmill running for about an hour now going fast. I have been working so hard love yourself Her. I've been seeing articles about me gaining weight from recent stages.

It really got to me especially with my role in the WINGS album. The treadmill starts to slow down a bit and I looked at it and see that my time was up. I got off of it and took a sip of my water and we to the stair climber.

Once I was done with the gym I go back to where we lived. "How was the gym." Jin says as I come into the entry way. "Uhh it was good." I say to him as I put my slippers on.

"I made some food do you wanna eat?" He says to me. "No I'm good probably later on I need to shower." I say as I go to my room and got some shorts and a long sleeve shirt. I go into the bathroom and took the scale out from under the sink. I strip my clothes off and was only in panties and a sports bra. I step on and waited for the weight to calculate.

42 kg. "Not good enough" I thought to myself. I put the scale away and turned on the shower and started to clean my body of sweat. Once I was done I put my clothes on and grabbed a headband that was in one of the cabinets and put it on. I pick up my clothes and put it into the dirt laundry and left the bathroom going back to my room.

I play some games on my phone to keep me occupied from thinking about the sweet savoring smell of food that Jin made today. I woke up from a unexpected nap.

It was weird really that never happens. I get out from my bed and put my phone on the charger and left my room going to the kitchen. I open the fridge to see the left over food from Jin. One of the plates was wrapped up with writing that says 'for lippie'.

I pushed passed it and grab my soy milk. I go into the cabinet for my pink cup to pour the soy milk in. It's my third cip today that's my last cup of the day.

I start to drink my milk as I scroll through my twitter. I look at the comments rfom the mirror picture I took today that the company posted.

@BTS_MAJORFAN Commented: Oh wow Lippie looks amazing in this photo!!

@DonDOng_lippie23 Commented: Wow she got so skinny so quick...that worries me.

Some fans were really worried but I prushed it off I knew I was healthy and wasn't pushing the limit. It's only for the comback and then I can go back to eating a bit more.

As I finish up my my soy milk I put the cup in the sink and rinse it off a bit of water and left it in there for one of the boys to find. I go back to my room and went under my covers to keep me warm.

I noticed that recently I'm always cold and need layers all of the time. I watch some movies on my phone and slowly fell asleep.

I woke up to my alarm and shutting off immediately and looked at the time 6:00 am. I pull myself out of bed and changed into my practice clothes and left the dorm to the practice room.

I start to stretch a bit as some calming music was playing in the background. Once I was done stretching I played a song and started to freestyle dance a bit.

I let my playlist continue going through many songs from idols or groups I know. Soon I saw the door open from the mirror reflection.

It was Jin with a bag in his hand.
I stopped dancing and went to the stereo and turned it off. I look at him as he stared at my body. "Lippie what have you done." He says to me. I just look at him dumbfounded.

He drops the bag to the floor and comes to me. "You look like bones. You look pale." He says to me. "What are you talking about? I'm completely fine." I saw I him and I turn the stereo back on and move away from him.

The music goes off and I stop dancing and looked at him. "I hope you know it's 12 in the afternoon how long have you been in here?" He says to me and I ignore him.

"Lip are you not eating..." He says and I just looked at him. I didn't want to admit it. I didn't want to admit to him what I was doing.

"Lip talk to me." He says and I just break down into tears. "Don't you see what they say to me online 'oh she looks fat' 'oh she looks a bit big compare to the boys.' And so on Jin."

"Do you know how it feels to read those words where thousands of people have to see and my pictures of me at a cafe eating a big meal or me on stage next to you guys in a dress o-or a short dress huh?" I say to him as the tears were going down my cheek.

He doesn't say anything to me and goes to hug me. I can feel his hand stroking my hair and hear his little sobs. "Lippie why you are perfect the way you are...you are starting to represent your story in the wings era I don't want that okay I don't want that." He says and holds me closer.

I start to cry a bit more at that point. I was starting to represent my story in the music videos. A dancer that is battling with a eating disorder.

"Come on let's get out of here and get you something to eat and have a meeting with the boys." He says to me and I nodded.

I grabbed my phone and put my sweat pants back on along with the sweater I was wearing and went with Jin back to our dorms for the meeting and food

I based this chapter off of my life but I wish I had someone close to me noticed my problem.

But I am getting better now thankfully with the help I'm getting but I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter

-Kitty