𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐗 ━━ 𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐤 𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐝

twenty | shot

"How bad is it?"

"Lots of blood lost from the G.S.W. to his right shoulder."

My hands clutch the rails of the gurney, pushing it forward into the entrance to the hospital with Dr. Bailey.

"Phoenix, you're bleeding."

"It's nothing, Dr. Webber."

"Curtain area one, Phoenix." My mouth opens to retaliate. "I don't want to hear any arguments, alright? Wait for an intern to assess you."

The left side of my head throbs painfully, blood pouring from a wound the second bullet left behind. I use the walls to guide myself to the room.

With two other gunshot victims — who, in my opinion, are far more critical than myself — I spend time reading through medical books.

"Damn it, Lev."

I glance up to see Meredith leaning against the doorway. She exhales deeply before walking in, an empty patient chart in her hand.

"No. No, I refuse to be a patient." My voice growls towards the end. "I have to pick up Scar from the daycare, and I have plenty of work to do outside of this damn hospital."

"Leven, if you don't sit down, I'm gonna call security."

"You wouldn't. . .dare."

Involuntarily, I fall back onto the bed while holding my head.

"Maybe it wouldn't hurt to stay for a bit."

"I already called Finn to pick up the dog and take him back to your place."

"You're leaving my dog in the hands of your boyfriend?"

"Who happens to be your veterinarian."

". . .carry on."

After confirming my vitals are stable, Mer pages Dr. Shepherd to check my brain functions, much to my displeasure.

Once he arrives, Meredith leaves to tend to another page.

"Did you fall outside or something?" He flips through the observations Meredith had noted down earlier.

"No, I was shot." My shoulders shrug.

He looks up almost immediately. "You were shot? With a gun?"

"Yeah, that's what getting shot means, Dr. Shepherd." I roll my eyes. "Are you sure I'm the one who needs to be examined?"

Choosing to ignore my last statement, the neurosurgeon approaches me with his pen-like flashlight. He lifts each eyelid open before hovering the light over them.

"Just discharge me so I can go back home."

"You might need to stay for overnight observation."

"Hell, no."

"Damn it, Leven." He tosses aside the clipboard. "You were shot."

"Does it even count if the bullet never —"

"You are bleeding all over your clothes, yet you're still being selfish."

"I'm just owning up to my responsibilities, Dr. Shepherd. Isn't that what you told me to do not so long ago?"

His fingers tug the tousled strands of hair at the back of his head. I smirk in victory, but it's short-lived.

"Every time you open your mouth. . .I just want to. . ."

"Punch me in the face? Because I feel the same way."

"No. God, no."

"Then what —"

In the matter of a moment. . .everything changes.

His right hand lifts to cup the back of my head softly, while his left arm circles my waist. And his lips meet mine.

I melt into the embrace, my palms caressing either cheek. Our mouths mold with every second, growing and growing in affection and adoration. . .just pure passion.

Suddenly, my heart thumps rapidly against my chest. My fingers clutch the shoulders of his scrubs, trying to pull away from him and grab his attention.

"D-Derek. . ." I mutter against his lips. "I. . .I can't breathe. . ."

Beep! Beep! Beep!

The heart monitor I've been hooked up to beeps, and my eyes drift shut.

"Stay awake for me, Leven. Stay awake!"

He calls Meredith back inside, ordering her to bring him a thin angio after checking both lungs. I feel a cold, wet cloth wipe the skin of my exposed chest before a prick.

"Leven? Leven, you have to stay with me now." Derek holds my head the second I open my eyes. "There you go. You're alright, Lev."

"Lung collapsed?"

"You're okay now."

He lets his forehead rest against mine and breathes a sigh of relief. I tilt my chin up, nuzzling my nose to his cheek.

"Go."

"What?"

"Go, Derek. I want you. . .to go."

Before he can say a word, I force my body away from him and curl into a shaky ball. Derek leaves reluctantly, hand at the back of his head.

I don't know how much time has passed when someone else comes in.

"Phoenix."

"I don't want any visitors."

"Good thing I'm not visiting."

I look up and see Dr. Bailey's stern figure at the foot of the bed, her arms crossed over her chest — a usual stance for her.

"Can I get something for you, Phoenix?" She offers kindly, a look often not direct towards us interns.

"The discharge papers would be nice." With the edge of my hospital gown, I brush away the shed tears. "Did you need something, Dr. Bailey? Because —"

One step at a time, she approaches my bedside. "You need to take a break sometimes, Leven. It's okay to take. . .a break."

"I do take breaks —"

"You know what I mean." She cuts me off. "Take it from a mother with a crying child in the house. . .let yourself take a break."

By the time Meredith returns to stitch up my wound, light pours through the blinds of the window, signaling the start of another day.

"Derek's in the O.R. with Dr. Burke, if you wanted to know."

"Is he alright?"

"Well, for a bullet to the right shoulder and restrained hand function. . .we're all just hoping for the best."

"What about Cristina?"

"She's. . .she's alive."

"And the others? Izzie and George, are they okay?"

". . .you missed a lot."

So she takes the time to walk me through everything that had happened since I was admitted: Izzie cutting the L.V.A.D. wires keeping Denny alive, George aiding her, Cristina and Meredith being roped into the mess, and Bailey yelling at them.

She helps me into a wheelchair, pushing me down the hallways towards the coffee cart on the surgical floor.

"The next time you want to get shot in front of a hospital. . .just don't."

"I'll take that into consideration the next time I'm in a similar situation."

"Thank you."

"Uh, that was sarcasm, Meredith. Sarcasm."

"Well, I obviously knew that."

"Did you really?"

"Shut up, Phoenix."