𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐗 ━━ 𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐤 𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐝

twenty three | scared

"I'm on my knees in a puddle of coffee, and he's lying on the couch playing with himself, you know?"

"He was doing. . .that? In front of you?"

"No, not in the good way."

Meredith slips her curled stethoscope into a pocket. "But he's recovering from surgery. And you've read the studies on recovery and depression in surgical patients."

"Yeah, well, he's not a patient. He's Preston Burke. He's just milking it." She snatches the granola bar out of my hand. "Now he's got me fetching his food and the paper and his slippers like I'm a dog."

"Cristina Yang fetches for no one." I taunt while pressing the button to the elevator. "At least you're not being pressured into. . .here we go."

Derek steps out of the next open elevator, still wearing his regular clothes but holding a tray of two coffees with a brown paper bag.

"Leven, hi." He beams brightly at the sight of me. "I just brought you some coffee because. . .well, they were having a two-for-one deal."

"Uh-huh."

"And I thought of you."

"Okay."

"Iced chai latte? With a slice of coffee cake?"

My lips curve in a small, apologetic smile. "I don't have an answer for you yet. Sorry, Derek."

"Hey. You take all the time you need." He passes me the cup and bag before walking away. "I'll see you in a bit."

"Are you guys secretly dating?"

"What?"

I pull the two of them into the elevator and wait for the doors to shut. Once they do, I pull the red trigger to shut off the elevator.

Cristina's tongue clicks against her teeth. "How come I never thought about doing that?"

"The day after the prom, he came to visit me at Meredith's house."

"You guys had sex."

"Would you let me tell the story?"

". . .sorry."

With a quick trip down memory lane from a week and a half ago, I explain the dilemma I have in my hands: do I or do I not date him?

"Guys don't pour their hearts out like that, you know." Meredith slumps against the wall in the corner. "I would kill to have someone do that to me."

The tips of my nails tap against the metal rail. "You mean put you in an awkward situation where you don't know if you should greet him or run away from him? Because it's so fun."

"Better than watching your depressed boyfriend play with balls all day."

". . .don't ever say that in front of me again."

Downstairs at the nurse's station, Alex, Cristina, George, Meredith, and I inhale the giant slice of coffee cake Derek brought.

"Morning, people."

With mouths full of cake, the five of us turn around to face our mentor.

She gives us our assignments for the day: Meredith writes discharge forms, Yang works with Derek, Alex reports to Addison, George is requested by Torres, and I. . .am on scut.

"Scut. She has me doing scut work."

"Because you should be resting from your injury."

"And figuring out what you're going to say to McDreamy."