Feelings

Chapter 10 : I'm Here

So I'm giving you a long update bc it's chapter 10!!!!!
**Meredith's POV**
I clock out, hanging up my apron. When I walk out to the dining room, I spot a familiar face and smile. "Louis!"
He turns his head to find me. "Oh. Hey Mere." Theres a tone in his voice I can't quite catch. The closer I look, I realize there's a scar on his eyebrow that's obviously still healing. His nose is slightly crooked, and having a nurse as a mother I can tell it's been broken. Then I spot a blue cast on his hand. There are only a few signatures on it.
"What happened to your hand?" I frown, walking over to where he's standing near the counter, reading the menu.
"It's broken." He shrugs, but I can sense he's trying to keep his temper. What could I have said to already have him upset?
"How did you break it?" Im honestly concerned, because it's clearly not just his hand.
"Well, I didn't break it, your boyfriend did." He glares.
His words only confuse me for a second, and then I remember all the bruises on Harrys chest. "Harry hit you." I conclude.
"Yeah, he did a whole lot more than hit. Busted my eyebrow, and broke my nose and hand." He seethes.
My jaw drops. I've only seen Harry aggressive enough to inflict that kind of damage, but of what I saw he's certainly capable of it. My brain goes back to Dave on the floor of the hallway. "I... Why? I don't understand, what happened between you?"
Louis scoffs. "You're so naive. I took you out to lunch, Mere."
"But...."
"Harry doesn't like sharing. I don't know what's up with him but he's been with you longer than he's been with anyone, and..."
"He said he wants to try dating." I defend.
Louis laughs loudly. "I believe that about as much as I believed the doctors when they told me my nose wouldn't be permanently crooked. Just be careful, because I don't know what he's up to but it can't be good." He shakes his head, and leaves the shop.
My brain and heart hurt at his words. Half of what he said I've suspected myself, but it stung to hear him say it aloud. I'm suddenly upset with Louis, mad that he would say such harsh things. I start to walk out to my car, still thinking about Louis's words. The longer I think, I realize he is right. My anger quickly switches to Harry. His temper is so short, and it ended up breaking Louis's hand and nose. Plus Louis was right, the idea of him wanting to date me is laughable. I drive home, letting my anger build, because I know I'll need it if I'm going to tell Harry off. Over the past two weeks, I've grown attached to him, gotten used to him bringing home our groceries and even sleeping on the living room couch the night Hannah saw someone again. But it has to be done, because even I know nothing can come of our relationship.
When I finally get home, I find Harry in the kitchen. I'm shocked to see him storing a pot of what seems to be macaroni. "Hey." I set my bag on the table.
He turns. "Hey. Your mums at the hospital, and Hannah and Austin were hungry." He shrugs.
"Oh. Yeah, thanks."
He goes back to the macaroni, and I decide it's now or never.
"I ran into Louis today." He stops stirring, but stays motionless. "He came into the shop."
"That's nice." His teeth are obviously clenched.
"His hand is broken." I continue, trying to keep my voice casual. He responds with silence, but I know it's the kind of silence daring me to continue. "His nose is permanently crooked." I whisper. I jump when he slams his hand down on the counter, spinning to face me.
"What are you saying, damnit?"
"You hit him!" I accuse. "And without reason, too!" Im pissed. By the look in his eyes, he is too.
"I had every reason." He spits.
"You had none, you were irrationally jealous." I fire.
I cower back when he strides towards me, backing me up against the wall.
"Stop it. You don't scare me any more." I say firmly. He pins me against the kitchen wall, and I squirm against his hold. "Let go of me." I struggle. "Let go Harry." I threaten this time. Using my last resolve, I bring my knee up, making contact with his crotch.
"Fuck." He lets go, doubling over. "What the hell?!"
"I told you to let go." I say, relaxing my body. "I want you to go home." I continue. "And you don't need to bring the groceries anymore." Im actually thankful that he did what he did, because it makes my part that much easier.
He straightens up, a look of anxious shock on his face. "No. I'm sorry." He says, but I can tell he's only saying it to save his skin.
"Harry, there's no point, this isn't going anywhere." I shake my head.
"No." He walks closer, his body right in front of mine again. I have to avoid making eye contact, knowing the second I see his eyes I'll snap. "I'm sorry." He repeats.
"Please stop." I whisper. His body is pressed against me, and I know what he's trying to do. "Stop, Harr-" I'm cut off when he pushes his lips against mine. My brain warns me that this is how he won our last argument, but I ignore it and kiss him back. I can't help it, it feels so natural and I can't stop. His hands land on my waist, and the back of my neck. His right hand tugs my waist against his crotch. His left hand holds my head against his lips. I kiss him hungrily, reaching up with my right hand to tangle my fingers in his hair. We make out for a moment, until my brain manages to scream some sense into me. I pull away, resting my head against the wall. "Stop." I whisper. My hands pulls away from his face. His right hand pushes my shirt up enough for his palm to rest on my skin. "No, Harry." I shake my head. His thumb rubs the skin of my waist, his forehead presses against mine. He's never been this intimate before. I can feel his breath on my skin, and he cups my cheek with his left hand. "What are you doing?" I breath.
"I have no idea." His lips brush mine when he speaks.
**Harry's POV**
"What are you doing?" She whispers.
"I have no idea." I tell her honestly, my lips brushing hers. I know I shouldn't, no I can't, crave her this badly. My body can't get enough of her, and I know it's only going to make it all that much harder. What has to come is inevitable, and I need to stop denying it. Of corse, I told myself that two weeks ago when she woke up next to me. Yet here I am, still caring too much. 'It's a game, it's a lie.' I tell myself, but at this point I no longer believe it. Dave's words still nag at me. 'It's taken a lot less time for you to care for her than we thought.' He was right, even then.
"You should go." She sighs.
'No'. I kiss her again, this time for only a moment. Say the right thing, Harry. "No." I croak. 'Idiot' my brain reminds me.
"Harry-" her voice has a slight edge to it now. She hates when I don't do what she wants.
"I'm- ok." I give in, thinking fast. "Can I come back?" If she wants me out now, then I'll go. But if she says I can't come back it's all over, all of it.
She's quiet for a moment, and the she surprises me by briefly pressing her lips to mine. "Only if you bring groceries."
"I promise." I nod. She kisses me once more.
"Go."
My lips meet hers, and I let them linger, before removing myself from the kitchen, and then the house.
When I get in my car, instead of driving home I head to the soccer field. This time there's a guarantee Louis won't bother me. I use the soccer ball in the trunk of the Range Rover, and walk to the field. I kick the ball over and over. I run up and down the field with it, scoring at each end. A lot of people aren't as good when they're frustrated, but I'm always at my best.
She found out I hit Louis. I did worse than that, actually. I intended only on hitting him, but I wasn't expecting him to fight back like he did. He got pretty pissed, and admittedly bruised my stomach up. I knew Mere would find out, but I'm glad it took so long. The last thing she needs is something else to worry about. I still feel terrible that she didn't go to Yale, but there was no way I could let her leave, and go that far. It sounds awful, but I'm relieved her grandmum had a stroke. I kick the ball into the net so hard it rolls back to me. I kick again, and again. 'You're too attached.' My head reminds me. It's constantly letting me know what an idiot I am, what a jerk I am. It tells me to stop but my heart doesn't listen, and I end up getting hurt. I sore again at the other end. I can't stop thinking about her. It used to be Katherine. After I ruined her life, I could think of nothing else. Her long blonde hair, her crooked smile, her tiny feet. I didn't exactly feel bad about what I did, only lonely. I had started to care for her. I hadn't even filmed us on purpose. But she drove me crazy, too, and I snapped and I ruined her. I ruined us. I would come to the field and think about what an idiot I was, and no matter how often I reminded myself of how annoying she was, it did no good. Then, when Jake appeared, I would pretend the ball was his head. I would think about my sister all day, and my mum too. Now it's her. Meredith. Her brown hair, her piercing blue eyes. I hate that I can't forget her even for a second. It's like everything I do revolves around her which is true, because if I make one wrong move its all over. I shiver at the thought, remembering that first encounter with Jake.
**Flashback**
"You've done something I can't forgive, Harry." Jake glares. "You can never take it back."
"I said I'm sorry." I say, again. My life has just gotten back together, I can't deal with this now.
"Not as sorry as you'll be when I'm done. You ruined Katherine, Harry." He reminds me. "And I'm going to ruin you."
"Look, I'll do whatever you want-"
"I know you will." He snaps, cutting me off. He pulls his phone out, unlocking it and showing me the screen. "Know her?"
"No." I stare at the unfamiliar photo of a blue eyed girl.
"Good. She's a virgin, and you're going to do to her what you've done to my cousin."
My stomach twists. "No."
Jake lets out a cruel laugh. "I'd watch what you say to me. You're going to get her to fall for you. You're going to lie to her, and she is going to trust you. Then you're going to fuck her, and ruin her life."
"Why?" I shake my head, feeling sick and confused.
"When you're done, you'll know why." He sneers.
"You expect me to just go along with this?"
He swipes to the next photo on his phone, and I feel dizzy. "Do you know her?"
"Don't touch my sister." I threaten.
"I won't, if you do what I want."
**End Flashback**
*
**Meredith's POV**
After eating dinner, I go upstairs to my room. I hadn't even thought of until now, but I just remembered the piece of paper I took from Harry's binder. I find it in the drawer of my night stand, and sit at my keyboard with it. I learned how to play when I was five, but due to lack of practice I'm not as good as I could be. The music Harry has written in isn't difficult, luckily. It takes me about an hour to get the full song down well enough that I can appreciate how talented Harry is. The melody is beautiful, and so are the words. My dad taught me to sing when I was little, and my voice isn't great but I can at least carry a tune. The song feels unfinished to me, and I grab a pencil. I think for several minutes, before quickly writing down two lines.
'You're all I want, so much it's hurting,
You're all I want, so much it's hurting.'
I find an envelope, and fold the papers inside, writing Harrys name on the out side. I sit at my desk to wrote a quick note.
'Harry,
Sorry I took this. It's really really good though, its my new favorite. I took the liberty of adding some last lines, I hope you don't mind. It's what I thought of after you left and after I played your song. It's probably not any good. Anyways, thanks for the groceries.
Mere.'
I slip the note into the envelope as well, and then seal it. I put it in my purse, resolving to find a way to return it to Harry.