holding on til may » pierce the veil

» sixteen «

Today was our first appointment to see if the baby was alive and healthy.

I still can't believe this is all happening. I mean I'm 19 and Vic's 21 and he's in a band. I don't think we're ready for this kind of responsibility. But ready or not, it's happening and we have to get ready. I just can't believe this is the end of my freedom.

I shook the thoughts away as we checked in. We sat down and waited to be called into the room.

I was extremely nervous because this is when everything becomes real. We're going to be able to see the baby and hear the heartbeat.

Vic held my hand. "Mel, we're gonna be fine and we're gonna be fine. I promise, and I'm going to be here for everything."

I nodded and simply replied, "Thank you."

A few moments later, a woman opened the door. "Melody?"

Vic and I stood up, following the woman to an empty room. "I'm just going to take your weight and vitals then the doctor will take it from there, okay?" She smiled.

We both nodded.

"Just take your shoes and your jacket off, then step up on the scale."

I followed her directions and stepped up on the scale. She didn't say anything, just jotted the number down on a sticky note.

She put a thermometer in my mouth and took my blood pressure at the same time. She jotted the numbers on the same sticky note.

She typed everything into the computer. "Alright, my jobs here done. Everything looks good, but your weight could have an affect but it rarely does. The doctor will explain more. Do you have any questions?"

I shook my head.

"Alright, just change into this gown and the doctor should be in soon." She smiled as she handed me the gown and left the room.

I changed and sat down on the bed, waiting for the doctor.

"Vic, I'm not ready." I said softly.

"I know, love. It's your decision and the doctor will explain your options. You'll be okay."

My eyes watered as he kissed my forehead and squeezed my hand.

A few minutes later, a beautiful woman knocked and entered the room. "Hello, I'm Dr. Ramsay, you're Melody right?" She smiled and shook my hand.

"Yes, and this is Vic."

She nodded. "So this is a very quick appointment. All that's going to happen is an ultrasound and then go over your options. I can see that your slightly scared which is completely normal, especially for a young woman."

I nodded. "I definitely want kids, I just didn't think it would be this early."

"I understand and this is the reaction from most women, especially if they're young and if it's their first child. But there's tons of options if you choose to not go through with the pregnancy and I'll help you get through it and I'm sure he will too." She said, pointing to Vic.

"Of course." Vic smiled.

"Okay, lets get started. So the one thing I'm seeing is that you are underweight which may bring problems, it may not. Women underweight are more likely to have a preterm delivery or have a low birth weight infant. However, your chances pretty much the same as a women with a normal weight."

I nodded.

"Alright. Ultrasound time." She smiled cheekily.

She rubbed a cold gel over my stomach and then turned over to the screen.

"Hm." She said examining the screen, without saying anything afterwards.

Vic looked over at me with a look that said 'Why did she just do that?'

"Um.." She paused once again. "You did take a pregnancy test right?"

"Yes, the second I realized I hadn't gotten my period."

"And it was positive?" She asked.

"Yes. Why? Is there something wrong."

"At this point, the baby would roughly be the size of a pea but you'd still be able to see it.. And I'm not seeing anything."

My heart dropped. "Wait.. what?"

"How many tests did you take?"

"Just one."

"And still no period yet?"

I shook my head in response as she stood up from her chair.

She grabbed a cup. "Why don't you pee in this and I'll test it for you. As rare as false positives are, they're not impossible."

I nodded as she walked out.

"So... I'm not pregnant..." I spoke.

Vic shrugged. "I wish I could help out a little more but I really don't know what's going on."

I giggled. "It's okay. I mean I guess it's a good thing."

He nodded. "We weren't ready for that kind of responsibility. But when we are, it'll be great."

"Thank you, Vic." I smiled.

He kissed my forehead. "Now go pee in that cup."

I got up and went to the bathroom, doing what I was instructed to do. I finished up and washed my hands then walked out, leaving the cup in the bathroom.

The doctor came back in a few minutes later and grabbed my sample and left.

I was really shocked that I might not be pregnant.