kendall - a few days later-
today has been one of gia's hardest days. i have had to hand her off to elizabeth or jeanne and go cry really quick multiple times. and it's only 10 in the morning.
"she just won't stop crying. i've tried everything. rocking, pacifier, swaddle, just holding her. nothing helps and i don't know what's wrong but i feel like i-"
"kendall. babe. you need to breath and calm down okay? she can feel when you're stressed and upset." jeanne says, squatting in front of me.
"i just don't know what to do." i say. by this time, the tears are streaming down my face.
"i know you don't and i know you feel like you can't help her right now but you have to calm down." she says. by that time elizabeth is coming back in from walking around the neighborhood with gia.
"she's calmed way down now. do you want her?" she asks me. i nod and wipe my face. elizabeth unbuckles her and walks over to me, setting her in my arms. i kiss her forehead and jeanne pats my knee and gets up.
"the boys should be home any minute now." she tells me. i nod. sure enough, the door opens and hayes walks straight to gia and i.
"are you okay?" he asks. i nod.
"now yea." i say.
"what do you think was wrong?" he asks his mom. she shrugs
"kendall could be really stressed and gia could be feeding off of that. gia could not be feeling well. she could be gassy." elizabeth shakes her head and shrugs.
"hayes. take gia and kendall into your guys room." jeanne says. hayes takes gia and i get up and walk with him to the room. he closes the door and sets a content gia in the swing and turns it on. he turns to me and i break down
"i'm not meant to be a mom." i say. he walks to me and wraps his arms around me. i cry into his chest for a couple of minutes and he pulls away.
"you're the best mom gia could ever have." he says. i roll my eyes, wiping my face.
"you have to say that." i say
"no i could say you were a shit mom and shouldn't be taking care of my kid." he says. i laugh softly.
"she loves you, kendall. i promise you." he says.
"i just feel like i'm fucking up everytime i turn around." i say.
"i heard your mom talking to nash last night. she doesn't like that we aren't married or together and we're raising gia." i say.
"kendall.." he trails
"and i know it doesn't matter to you but it matters to me. i can't stay here knowing that you're mom is constantly judging me or us for raising gia that way we are." i say. he stares at me for a second
"so what does that mean?" he asks. i shrug and wipe my eyes. he sits down on the bed.
"i think gia and i need to go back to north carolina for a little. till me and you can figure out what we're gonna do." i say.
"you don't need to do that kendall." he says.
"you and i both know we aren't ready for a relationship-"
"no. you're just scared, kendall." he says.
"i love you. and i love gia. and i want you guys here whether we're co parenting or together. i don't care what my mom thinks." he says. i stare at him for a minute.
"just stay." he says. i nod.
"okay." i say with a soft smile. he smiles and pulls me down. i laugh and he turns so he's hovering above me.
"we should give gia to my mom. for a little." he says. i laugh and push him off of me.
"i think she's sick of taking care of gia." i say. he grabs his phone and texts someone. then a couple seconds later there's a knock and nash and taylor walk in.
"hi. we just came to get our niece. we missed her." taylor says walking to gia.
"yea. we did." he says and tosses a condom to hayes.
"nash!" i exclaims. he laughs and quickly ushers taylor our of the room and closes the door.
"we don't know what these are." he says, tossing the condom behind him.
"i hate you." i say as he leans down and kisses me.
"right behind you is example a if you don't believe me." he says. i shake my head and laugh.
"i'm on birth control." i say
"that's no fun." he groans.
"shut up." i say laughing. he smiles and leans back down.
-a couple hours later-
after a little bit of fun and a quick nap, hayes and i get told to get ready because we're going out to eat. nash came and put gia in her bassinet to sleep. i'm just laying in hayes's shirt under the covers.
"you need to get ready." he says, pulling a hoodie on. i shake my head.
"then gia and i are gonna go eat." he says
"good luck." i say. he laughs and pulls the covers off of me.
"get up and get ready." he says. i sigh and get out of the bed. i grab a cropped long sleeve and some jeans. i slip my jeans on and then my shirt. i throw my hair in a somewhat neat ponytail and then slip my vans on. i spray a tiny bit of perfume and then go and pick gia up.
"i love you." hayes says, kissing my forehead.
"i love you too." i say. he leans down and kisses gias forehead. i smile. for once, i actually feel like we're a family. and we're not just co parents.
