Things I've learned On Wattpad

Lesson 11: What's mine, is not yours!

When I was about fifteen, I fell in love with this boy. He was one year older than me and we started dating. He had asked me out when there were so many other girls pursuing him. I felt lucky and privileged to be singled out by an older popular guy. It was considered pretty cool and I was envied a lot but the joke was on me since he ended up being a complete asshole, was after only one thing that I wouldn't give up so after a few months we broke up. Soon he was parading his new conquest around school not caring about hurting me. At the time, I thought that my life was over; it was the end of the world. I had slow songs referring to ugly break-ups on the repeat. I sobbed, bawled my eyes out. I lost my appetite, I stayed in my room a lot, you know typical teenage break-up things and then I turned to poetry. Yes, I did that! I wrote a poem about him. Of course I showed some of my friends and they said it was great. It wasn't. But I'd poured my heart out for the boy with the green eyes and the fair hair. Then time went by and we were seniors and of course, I forgot all about him.

In my country it is customary for seniors, to create some sort of scrapbook that they pass around to their classmates and each one contributes by signing it, writing wishes to the owner, writing about a funny incident with a teacher or glueing photos in it; they even share poetry. It's not a yearbook. We have that, too but this is different. More personal.

I bought mine at the beginning of the year and decorated it with stickers and whatever and I passed it around to all my classmates and peers. I also received theirs and wrote my wishes and drew cartoons and added famous quotes and words of inspiration. I also loved to browse on what the other students wrote, and they thoughts they shared. Imagine my surprise when my poem was on someone else's page. My poem, the one that I wrote for the love of my life, lol, was there in curved writing, with hearts drawn around it. My poem! My silly little poem had someone else's name under it and comments from the owner of the scrapbook on how awesome it was. My poem! The one I had written while listening to "Stop" by Sam Brown and "Nothing compares to you" by Sinead O'Connor (Yes, I am that old! Shush you!)

I felt terrible that someone would do something like that. Stealing someone's words pretending it's theirs. I didn't confront the person. Don't even know how she got hold of it. I didn't confront her because I thought that there was no way I could prove it and secondly I figured people would laugh at me for drawing attention on a stupid poem, a poem I wrote about a certain someone. Basically, I didn't want the attention on either me or the poem itself. However, I will never forget how I felt. I felt robbed. Robbed of my feelings and my privacy, robbed of something that was mine. I owned those words, regardless of how stupid they were, they were mine. They belonged to me. They were a product of me and my bleeding heart.

I have been in this community since December 2014 and I have written some stuff in here. Some is poor, some mediocre and some could be considered good. I am still struggling. Trying to find my voice. I have had trouble with writer's block and insecurities like a lot of people here I presume. But I wouldn't want my work copied by anyone, even the bad one. I haven't been a victim of something like that but I have many friends here who have, like FatBottomedGirls and kristimcmanus and so many others. Maybe some of you think that copying other people's work is some sort of compliment. Believe me, it isn't. I have read about how distraught they were and how they violated they felt. If you have problems with your writing, take a break, ask for help. I do that all the time. I have WhoopsHarryStyles to back me on this, lol. I have people here who help me when I need it like PoisedPen, Jax430, Bea_Nice and so many others. We are here for each other, through the good and the bad.

So welcome to my house but what's mine is not yours!

Silly poem of fifteen-year-old me:

Your green eyes and blonde hair,

Your sweet smile and pretty face

Who could ever give more care than me who's trying to trace

That loving feeling in your heart and make it just come out

I know it's a job so hard that nobody can count

You left and all my dreams are gone

Still you are so near

Telling me of all the fun

That in our hearts appear

And now I am left alone

And I am left in fear

That in my life I will not love

Another man, my dear

Silly, badly written, in another language that was still so foreign to me then but mine!

Talk soon!

Filia xxx