Things I've learned On Wattpad

Lesson 6: Being OK with your crazy

I am 41 and I am an English teacher. I don't teach literature. I teach English as a second language. I have a fascination, a love affair if you may, with music. Even though I don't know how to play a musical instrument I could very well be the next Grimmy I reckon! (Nah, not really). I always listen to music. The only time I don't is when I sleep or when I teach (there are times when I incorporate music in my lesson.)

I enjoy writing. I am not very good at it but I am trying my best. I have all these ideas in my head that just want to come out and people seem to like this crazy kid that we use as a means to an end so I use H as a character in my stories. When I first started writing here, urged by my students I may add, I was so embarrassed to reveal my age. I thought to myself who is going to take a 39-year old woman (I was 39 at the time) who writes fanfiction seriously, right?

I avoided mentioning my age at first until I realised from certain conversations I had with some people I got to know here, that not only was I not alone but other people like for example WalkStar were also teachers and wrote fanfiction. What do you know? I instantly felt at home, like I finally belonged.

I've always felt that I couldn't talk about these things with my "real" friends because they either don't like the music I like or they would think I was immature writing these kinds of stories. I was embarrassed to tell them first that I write, and second about what I write because they'd think I was crazy somehow but this platform has made me feel that there is room for my crazy and there are people here equally crazy and that is such a relief lol!

My husband found out that I write by accident. He realised that I'd spent a lot of time on the computer so he ambushed me laughing thinking I was reading something dirty (like Fifty shades of Grey or something) and I didn't want him to know. I remember how embarrassed I was to reveal that I wrote on this platform but surprisingly he loved the idea! He thinks it's good practice to see if you are good enough to give it a try later. I know that a great amount of writers here are in the closet. Their friends and loved ones have no idea that they write and they find an escape in doing so. I admire each and everyone who finds the courage to expose themselves this way, to open up their hearts and their minds for everyone to see. Some are successful and some are not. The thing is that this is an escape and if it helps you through the day, the week or the month and it's something you enjoy, so be it!

I have made friends here and some I've met in the flesh some we talk almost every day. It is good for me to know that there are moms out there who have jobs and responsibilities like I do who enjoy writing and are generous enough to brainstorm with me, help me with my covers or listen to me whine when I become insecure and stressed.

So, truth is I'm OK with my crazy after all!