His Changing Heart (Sesshomaru X Oc)

Chapter 15

A/n
Short chapter but there's a reason for that much love❤️

Kagome has left again to her own time to gather things for the trip. Myoga told us we should leave the village for a while to find jewel shards so she insisted on getting more things. While Inuyasha, Kagome, and Myoga were preparing for our leave I sat outside of Kaede's having an inner war with myself. I know little to nothing about this strength or how to use it nor do I even know what kind of demon I am. Inuyasha thinks I'm some sort of dog demon and that maybe just the female dog demons look different but my instincts are telling me that's not it.

It's been a few days and I haven't even seen my past life version of me in my dreams either. She said she would talk to me when I truly need it but where is she now when I need her to tell me what's going on. It's been 2 days since the encounter with Inuyasha's brother Sesshomaru and I can't get him out of my mind either.
"I need to get up and move a little. Help my thought process." I sighed while standing heading towards the meadow that held most of the herbs Kaede taught me about.

It's my fault Sesshomaru lost his arm. If I didn't distract him he would've been fine and I know I shouldn't feel guilty because he was trying to kill us and almost successfully did kill me but... I can't help it. In my mind, there's an alternative where he didn't even know I almost died to which makes me feel like I owe him even more for his arm. Growling I frustratedly plopped down in the grass.
"This is a load of bullshit! Just get out of my head already will ya...." I murdered towards the end. My ears twitched as they picked up the sound of footsteps and the smell entered my nose.

Herbs, freshwater, and a homey type smell. Kaede.
"What causes ye mind distress child?" she finally spoke as she stood behind me now. Sighing out again I plopped back into a lying position where her shadow blocked the sun from my face.
"Should I feel as guilty as I do Kaede? I know he tried to kill us and everything but because of me, he lost his arm. Partial of his strength..." confiding my thoughts to her I watched as she took a seat next to me so I sat up watching and waiting for her reply.

"Ye have a kind heart Mitsuki. It's only natural you feel guilty. You've changed a lot since you first got here. You used to want to help but was always so scared to do so and now you would step into harm's way in a heartbeat for your friends." her answer was not the one I wanted nor expected.
"I don't have friends Kaede. I'm an outcast. Always have been and always will be." I bitterly shot back.
"I don't believe that to be true. Kagome seems to really like being close around you and Inuyasha has warmed up to you quite a bit. I think ye know that deep down and you're just scared." again she took me by surprise.

Am I really just scared to let people in? I've known Kagome for quite some time and I will admit I'm jealous of her at some points in time but she's always had tried to help. She cried for me even. Put herself in harm's way to protect me. Wouldn't that be the definition of a friend? Inuyasha even though most of the time he ignores me he still answers my questions about demons and does his best to help me understand even if he is a jerk about it but that's just Inuyasha. Are they both really my friends? Do they consider me a friend?

"I think ye know what you should do. As I said Mitsuki you have a kind heart. You're just scared is all. If you do go I would go soon before Inuyasha comes around and tries to stop ye." she smiled as she stood up and walked away. Do I know what I need to do? Is it the right thing to do? Will it possibly cost my life? The answer to those I already know. Nodding once I now stood with determination as I gave the village a last look before turning around and begin my own journey.
"I'm sorry Kagome and Inuyasha. I'll be back... Sometime." I whispered as I turned on my heel and left.