After - The Society Fanfic.

17.

When Grizz and Becca enter the house. Allie is there ready to yell, ready to lecture about how he can't just fuck off like that! But then she remembers the night where she lay by her sister's grave, how everyone had lectured her about leaving by herself, how all she'd wanted was a moment of quiet, a moment alone. Maybe that's what Grizz had wanted. So instead of yelling, instead of the lecturing, she hugs him. Will raises out a fist, Grizz bumps it whilst holding Allie. Will notices his badly bruised knuckles, "Grizz, where have you been? What happened to your hand man?" Allie pulls back and yanks at Grizz's hand trying to get a better look at it. He winces and pulls it back.

"It's fine. And I'm sorry if I worried any of you... I passed out in the greenhouse." He felt guilty that not only did he fuck things up with Becca and Sam, he worried everyone else. He really needed to get a grip. Just do the job and survive. He literally said it to Jason and Clark a few weeks ago. Yet, here he is, not focusing on his job.

"You passed out in the greenhouse?" Grizz nods and Allie glances at Gwen, who nods along too. Allie narrows her eyes. They're hiding something, she just couldn't figure out what. She won't get into it now. "Honestly, only you would want to garden in the middle of the night drunk. Come on, the first aid kit is in the kitchen. Kelly and Gordie made everyone restock it a month ago."

As they walk into the kitchen, Gwen starts to fill everyone in with the drama of last night, i.e. the shots competition. Allie smirked as she could practically hear the eye roll Grizz gave as she recounted in a little too much detail of every shot she took. However, she appreciated that she is just trying to keep the awkwardness from growing.

Grizz is, unsurprisingly, a good patient. Wincing every now and then but generally keeping still and allowing Allie to clean the cuts. She bandages him up. He stares disapprovingly at his hand. Ideally, he'd have it unbandaged. It's just a few cuts and a deep bruise, no need to waste resources but the expression Allie held as she worked suggested he wouldn't have won that battle. "I think you should still get Kelly to have a look at it." Grizz shakes his head, smiling slightly.

"It's all good. You did all that needed to be done. Now if you don't mind me, I'm going to take a power nap on the sofa and then get on with the day." He salutes them all and exits towards the living room. Gwen frowns and purses her lips, deep in thought.

"What happened Gwen?" She glances up at Allie. Before she's even spoken, she knows that Gwen won't tell her. The loyalty that's developed between the two of them prevents her from doing that. Allie can see it. It's a similar loyalty she had with Cassandra. You can argue with them, you can dislike them at times, but you'll always be there for them, always keep their secrets for them. Gwen and Grizz had that loyalty. She's impressed. She didn't think Gwen had that depth in her.

"He was doing some drunk gardening and fell, hurting his fist. He's an idiot drunk." Lies. Allie knows it's all lies. Gwen knows Allie knows. Neither says anything. Maybe it's better they stay out of the way on this one. Allie has greater things to worry about.

*

It'd been a few days since the incident. Becca had barely said a word to Sam. They both haven't left the house. They go to the garden but that's about it. Eden needs fresh air; they all need fresh air. She thought it'd have cleared her head by now, but no. She's still stewing in anger.

The morning after, Becca had awoken, thinking it'd been a dream but when greeted with the mess downstairs she knew it'd all been real. It felt like a nightmare to her right now. She knew she was perhaps being slightly unreasonable but Sam... Sam had said that he was all in. Being with Grizz wouldn't be all in. Having a secret relationship isn't all in. Leaving her throughout Thanksgiving isn't all in. Lying to her isn't all in. He'd never been all in. She stares across at him, changing Eden on the mat on the floor. He's trying now, but only because he got caught.

Why did he lie to her? That's what hurt the most, all of his lies. If back during Thanksgiving he'd just said "Hey. I met a guy. I lost track of time with him. I'm sorry. Are you okay? I'm here now and I won't leave you again until you're fine!" She probably would have...she probably would have what? Accepted that and been fine with it? No. She would have been angry. She feels a pang of guilt in the pit of her gut, surround by her anger. She pushes it down. Why should she feel guilty? She's not the liar here.

Sam glances up and smiles. It fades as Becca just continues to glare at him. His head falls back down, and he finishes changing Eden. He gently scoops her up and places her in the bassinet. She watches as he moves cautiously towards her and kneels at her feet. He takes her hands. She tries to pull them away, but he stops her, staring her straight in the eye. He waits for a second, making sure she's not just going to storm off again before releasing her hands.

"I am sorry for the way you..." He stops signing for a second, glancing away. Becca's eyes narrow. He continues, "but you cannot freeze me out." She purses her lips. "I don't regret the things I've done with Grizz. I don't regret Grizz. I regret not telling you, I regret lying to you. There are things I wish I could change but I can't. I want us to move forward but I understand the trust between us is broken but know that I never wanted to hurt you. I'd do anything for you and Eden. You're my family-" She holds up her hands and Grizz stops signing.

"I gave you an out. I gave you a chance to leave Sam. If you're with Grizz, you're not with us, you're not being there for me, for Eden." Sam frowns. Becca can see that he doesn't quite understand her. He's still confused at how angry she is. He doesn't get her reasoning. In the back of her mind, a quiet voice points out maybe it's because she doesn't know why she's angry. She silences it. She knows why she's angry. Sam lied and betrayed her trust, there's no other reason for the anger. Frustrated Becca goes to get up, Sam pushes her back down. "Sam. You have to choose. Us," she gestures to Eden. "Or him." Something in the pit of her stomach tightens. She's doing the right thing, right? Sam can't be hopping between them; he has to choose. He has to. He's silent for a moment.

Sam can't quite believe Becca. He thought maybe over the past few days she'd become a bit more understanding but the lack of communication between them seemed to solidify her stance on the matter. Sam on one level understood, understood her anger and fears. He betrayed her trust and therefore she's struggling to see how even when he did sneak around with Grizz a couple of times, he was in, he is all in. He'll always be there for Becca and Eden, he loves them both with all his heart. But that doesn't mean he can't have some for someone else. However, even though he's conflicted over Becca's reasoning, he understands that right now she needs just him. She needs certainty that he won't disappear again. She needs him to choose so she can be sure, so she can feel certain about things again. For as long as he's known Becca, he knows that she has never dealt well with uncertainty. She needs answers and clear plans. This pregnancy, this world, has been a challenge for her. Sam had promised her certainty and then pulled the rug from under her feet. He needs to give her certainty. She's his best friend, his family, the least he can do is give her certainty. Even if this means he's slightly unhappy for now.

"I choose you; I choose Eden." Becca nods.

"Okay then." She should be happy. She should be over the moon that Sam has decided to stay with them, not abandon them. She's getting to keep her friend, her family. Eden will have a father and Becca won't be doing this alone. She should be happy. Why doesn't she feel happy? Why does this feel slightly wrong?