Collateral Love | Tao

Chapter 34

I woke up at midnight, April 12th, my birthday. It'd only been an hour since I fell asleep after tossing and turning endlessly. I let my dumbassery get the best of me and decided to venture across the hall. I looked around quickly before knocking on Tao's door. He opened it right away, "Can't sleep, birthday girl?" I shook my head. He pulled me inside and shut the door. "Me neither."

"Tao," His name came out sadder than I wanted it to.

"What's wrong? Are you sad?" I hugged him. I just missed him. He hugged me back. "Come on, let's watch some tv and I'll help you sleep." He took me to the bedroom where we laid together in each other's arms.

"Ah, Jongin," A moan came through the other side of the wall.

I sat up, "You're next to Sehun and Jongin?" 

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Gross, gross, gross," I turned the tv up until it drowned them out. I didn't want to hear my brother doing that kind of stuff. 

"You know when you kiss somebody and all the blood rushes to your head and all of your other senses kind of go numb to what's around you but at the same time your senses are super-focussed on the person you're kissing," 

"What are you talking about?" I was half asleep and my eyes were closed.

"Think about it," He kissed me and kept kissing me until we were making out.

I pulled away, "Okay, I get what you mean," He kissed me again and climbed on top of me. I wasn't expecting things to go this far, but I didn't stop him. He kissed my neck and my collarbones, running his hand along my hip and waist. "Tao?"

"Yes, princess?" He stopped what he was doing to listen to what I had to say.

"Are we going to do stuff?"

"Stuff?"

"You know what I mean."

"If you're okay with it, then yes, I want to do stuff. It is your eighteenth birthday after all. I've held back my man instincts for a while now."

"I'm okay with it, I'm just nervous."

"Why are you nervous? I want to make sure you're comfortable."

"I'm self-conscious."

"I know you are. Don't worry. I think you're beautiful," He tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

"You've never seen me naked though."

"I've seen you in your bra and underwear. Two fewer articles of clothing can't be too different."

I smiled and laughed at him a little, letting him continue to kiss me. Kissing led to undressing and him struggling with my bra and me teasing him for it. All of this then led to "stuff".

"That was fun," Tao was just as breathless as me.

"Was I too loud?"

"I don't think so. It doesn't matter anyway."

I pulled my underwear back on and put his shirt on me, "I think it matters. If somebody heard us then you'll lose your job."

'I'm quitting my job after this trip," He put his underwear back on too.

"You are? Why?"

"I think I'm just going to teach some martial arts classes maybe."

"No more secret agent stuff?"

"No, I think I'll just teach martial arts."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" He played with my hair and looked at me thoughtfully.

"You're quitting your job because of me."

"It's not your fault, Jisoo. I never liked my job that much anyway. Maybe I'll work at the college instead," Even if he said it wasn't my fault, I still felt like it was somehow because of me. I felt guilty that he was sacraficing so much for our sake.

"What if I wanted to go to college?"

"Then I'll work somewhere else."

"I don't think I'm going to college anyway. I like the bakery."

"I thought you burnt cupcakes all the time," He smiled at me.

"I do, but that's just because I get distracted. If I pay attention I'm good at baking."

"Okay. Don't blame yourself, okay?" I nodded. "Are you ready for your birthday gifts?"

"That thing we just did wasn't my birthday gift?"

"No, I know it was great and all, but I got you some other gifts."

"A lot of gifts?"

"Yes," He opened his suitcase.

"Just give me one for now. I came here to get some rest."

"Okay, fair enough," He handed me a small box. Inside was a panda charm. "It's for your bracelet."

"Awe, it's cute," I smiled. "Thank you." I kissed his cheek and hugged him, then placed the box on the bedside table and laid down. I was too tired to get excited about his gifts, but I was still grateful.

"Sorry for keeping you up, baby."

"It's okay."

"I'm really happy now," He held me close to him. "I'm happiest when you're with me. I missed you when we were broken up."

"I missed you too."

"You did? I thought you hated me."

"I don't hate you," I closed my eyes.

"I'm glad. I love you."

"Love you too."

"Sorry, I'll stop talking so you can sleep," He finally shut up and let me sleep.