The Grand Adventures Of Mike Patton

1 - Midlife Crisis

"Oh frick!"
Mike Patton sat up from his bed, slamming his alarm clock. "What the- 12:37??" He quickly jumped out of bed, grabbed some clothes and ran to the bathroom. After taking a piss and getting dressed, he made his way to his car. But first, he grabbed a leftover slice of pizza from the fridge. Was it cold? Yes. Did Mike care? A lot. (haha)

So Mike got to his car, forgetting his keys. He ran back inside, grabbed them, went out, and finally left his parking lot. "Hmm, I woke up late so I've got no real plans. Let's go to GameStop!" He drove his way down for around an hour and couldn't seem to find that damned store. "Auugh! I'll just ask a person." Mike drove around until he saw some dude playing a bass on the side of the road. "Hey geezer, I need help."

The bass player looked up after playing a meaty riff. "The name's Colonel. What do ya want, ya bastard?" He stood up and looked through the car window. Mike looked at him and spoke: "sorry I don't speak crackhead." The bassist gave him a glare. "What the heck do you want?" Mike pulled his sunglasses up and said: "Colonel, I need some directions, to GameStop." The guy stopped. "Okay, the real name's Les Claypool, let's go." Les hopped into the passenger seat.