Jaemin the Icy Prince on Campus - Na Jaemin NCT

8. The Pre-U Workshop

It is Chuseok or Thanksgiving Day.

I am writing on my bed in the University hostel. I am setting my thoughts down on paper so that I can relive yesterday, and have it forever, intact and lovely, untouched by the sadness yet to come - for, of course it is coming; my brain tells me that.

I feel terribly happy today; my happiness is like a flowering in my heart, a stirring of wings - oh, I wish I could write poetry, to express my joy, but I can't, I tried writing a few times, but they were so bad, so I tore them up. Never mind then. I shall set down my feelings and my thoughts simply in prose, everything that happened to me today, with no airs and graces. But oh, how I wish I were a poet, to pay tribute to you, to wax lyrical about yesterday...

My lovely day began when the sun rose, and I instantly remembered it was Chuseok, and that I would be on my way to see you, not on a train this time, but by coach, specially hired by the Ministry of Education to deliver high school seniors safely to the Seoul National University and back. We had all signed up to attend a two-day pre-U workshop at the University, catering to high school seniors aspiring to get into the University, simliar to a prep, or induction course on things to expect, and ways to prepare to get into the University. It's really tough getting into the University, and I seriously doubt I can get a place, but, hey, my main motive for signing up for the workshop was to see you. I wonder what all the rest of the people on the coach would have thought of me if they could have seen into my head...they all looked so scary, so focussed, and so determined sitting there in their seats, chatting about how much they were looking forward to the workshop, and how eager they were to get into the University. They all looked like they'd already got one foot in the University. 

That's why I'm sticking close to Hina, this new girl I met on the coach. Her full name's Oh Hina, and she's nice, and shallow, like me. She whispered to me that her real motive for signing up for the pre-U workshop was to get a boyfriend, because all the guys at her school are nerds. We hit it off right away...don't laugh, I didn't tell her about you, because it'd be kind of awkward, and I don't want any special attention from anyone, not from the high schoolers, nor from the University Student Union committee members, and you're one of them, and we agreed on the phone that we won't tell anyone about us.

You and your committee were waiting at the University to greet us, and my heart skipped a beat seeing you when I got down from the coach.

Hina whispered to me, "Omg. Check out that hot guy, the one with the light long hair in the blue shirt...omg, who IS he? Omg, he looks like an idol. Is he for real?"

I looked across at you, smiling and bowing to the long line of high school students from the coach. Your hair had grown long, and it was curling lightly around your collar.

My heart squeezed.

Oh God, I love you so much. I missed you so much. It's been hell these past few weeks not seeing you in person, not touching you, not holding you, not kissing you.

Every time I see you, I want to burst into tears. But this time, I had to hold them back. It would never do, breaking down in tears, and making a spectacle of myself in front of your friends, and all these people.

You smiled and bowed all the way down the line, and then you came to me and Hina, and she blushed brick-red when you bowed charmingly over her hand, and said, "Hello. Nice to meet you, Miss Oh. My name is Na Jaemin, and I'm in charge of the workshop today."

She stammered a reply, and then you turned to me.

Within me stirred the feelings I knew so well, the sense of pride that you were so beautiful, and that you were mine, and the secret gladness, the brimming joy, the pleasure that came with my arrogant pride, and, conscious of myself for the first time since I parted from you an eternity ago, I drew my scarf closer about my shoulders, the gesture deliberate, and I saw your eyes fall to the ring on my finger, catching the glow of the mellow autumn sun.

Then you looked at me. You turned your eyes in my direction, slowly, almost lazily, and there was something gleaming in the depths, hidden away, but visible to me only, a latent, simmering hunger. Cats' eyes have that gleam sometimes, when you stroke them, and they purr and curl themselves into a ball and let you do anything you want. You looked at me this way a moment, and there was a smile lurking somewhere behind your mouth, and it made my heart beat faster, just looking at your hungry eyes, at your ghost of a smile. 

"Hello, and welcome to Seoul National University, Miss ah... ," you murmured, your eyes flitting down to my name tag, and up again to rest caressingly on my burning face, "...Kim...My name is Na Jaemin, and I will be your chief co-ordinatinor for today. Feel free to approach me if you have any problem..." Your eyes lingered for the briefest of moments on mine, but before I could gather my wits and answer you, you had moved on casually to the next person beside me, a fawning girl, and I was left standing like an idiot, my face hot, my heart pounding.

"Omg. Omg. Omg," Hina hissed, grabbing my arm. "He's so hot. And so charming...omg, do you think he has a girlfriend? Can you imagine him being your boyfriend? Omg. Omg. Omg. I can't breathe. Seriously, have you ever seen such a hot guy before? I'm like so motivated now. I can't wait to get into this university."

I looked at her flushed, excited face, and sighed inwardly. I felt a bit bad that I hadn't told her about you being my boyfriend, but really, not telling the truth would spare me a lot of mean comments and hurtful remarks. I'd had quite my share of those in school. "What does he see in her?" "She's so plain." "She's not good enough for him." "She's so dull and drab, hardly the type of girl I thought he'd like."

I looked at your retreating back. You were smiling, and inclining your head courteously towards a pretty girl in yellow. You seem to be enjoying yourself, I thought moodily, you don't seem heartbroken at all. You had sauntered away so casually, you hadn't even said goodbye. 

I felt a stab of pain.

You had come to the end of the line. You stepped aside, and fiddled with your phone.

My phone buzzed.

I looked at it.

It was a text from you.

I LOVE YOU

My heart gave an almighty leap, like it was going to jump right out of my chest and do a hundred giddy somersaults there and then on the spot.

Three simple words.

That was all it took.

And I was wildly, deliriously happy again.