Jaemin the Icy Prince on Campus - Na Jaemin NCT

40. Flow

"I'm sorry about New Year's Eve." 

Junnie and I are chatting over coffee at Holly's Cafe.

"I didn't know Jaemin would be there." She looks ruefully at me. 

I smile.

"It's fine," I say lightly. "It's a small world. We were bound to run into each other sooner or later."

I take a sip of my latte.

"Mina," she leans forward, her brow creased. "I need to tell you something." She takes a breath, and continues, "I've been kind of debating whether to tell you or not..."

I put down my cup of coffee. "About what?"

"Jaemin."

My heart starts to pound.

"What about Jaemin?"

"He's divorced..."

There is a roaring in my head, so loud it muffles out the rest of her words. I draw in a shaky breath to hear her say, "...two years ago...didn't want to upset you...Leean..."

"What?" I say faintly.

"You and Leean. You were in a good place. Finally. I didn't want you to go through all that - that trouble... ," her mouth tightens, "again."

All that trouble.

My world shattering as Jaemin said "I do." My eyes leaking while Junnie and Leean hid me in their arms. My shame when wedding guests rubbed my back, smiling, murmuring how sweet it was that I was so emotional over my childhood friend's big day. The countless mornings I had had to force myself out of bed when I had wanted to cry myself back to sleep. All the times Junnie had dragged me out to meet people when I would have preferred to be alone with my pain. Five years' worth of holidays I had spent without my family. Five years of pain, frozen at a moment at eighteen, watching the love of my life's wedding to another woman.

"Mina," she peers into my face, and her eyes cloud over with shock and sympathy. "You - Jaemin - don't tell me you still - still - " Her voice trails off.

"I still love him?" I laugh, a harsh sound, ending with a sob. "Pathetic, aren't I?"

"Mina, sweetie," her eyes are very sad. "I thought you and Leean - "

"He's a good guy, but..."

"But he's not Jaemin?"

"No." It is a mere whisper, but it is enough to make her eyes well up. 

She stretches out her hands, and squeezes mine tightly.

"Mina," she says earnestly, "listen to me. He's divorced, but he's seeing someone...at least, that's what I heard from Jerry."

"Oh." Why am I not even surprised?

"But here's the thing." She is frowning. "Jaemin - he - he keeps asking about you. He hangs out with Jerry sometimes - you know Jerry's a pharmacist at Jaemin's hospital - and these hangouts, drinks and meals, well, they were always initiated by Jaemin...it's kind of weird, because he never really knew Jerry, not that well, anyway, and after a while, it just seemed to me and Jerry that he was hanging out with Jerry because he - he wanted to find out stuff about you..."

"Stalking me, you mean?" I want to laugh suddenly, at the thought of Jaemin the Stalker. But at the same time, I feel a surge of pure joy. It makes me sick how thrilled I feel, and I gulp down my entire cup of latte to dull my foolishness.

"Yes. He's not over you, obviously." She sighs. "And you're not over him." She shifts in her seat. "Look, I think you two need to sit down, and talk. You can't just avoid each other. You're adults, for crying out loud. You're not in high school anymore. Meet him, sit down, and thrash out all your issues, like two logical, intelligent adults."